My knobbly legs
The Metro, one of my favourite papers (The Onion is another), has wonderfully random stories disguised as journalism.
One as I recall, was about an artist who made faces out of toilet paper rolls. No joke. Really though, I can’t think of a single joke.
There are others, like this:
The highlight was the comment, below the story;
Anonymous
Whilst walking my dog through some woods near my house last year, I tripped and fell down a very steep hill, hitting my head at the bottom and losing consciousness. I awoke in a daze and couldn’t find my dog. I stumbled home, but when I arrived things weren’t right. The house had changed and I was greeted by strangers. Not long after this, I was placed in an institution for youngsters where I was analysed. I kept hearing a strange voice calling my name, so I decided to investigate. I found a weird looking spaceship, which strangely let me climb aboard. Off we went, travelling the country, in the skies and under the sea. My alien friend; Max, taught me the meaning of life and not to take things at face value. After a lengthy travel, Max took me back to my family, where we got into a boat and laughed. I even hugged my little brother who I’ve hated since the day he was born. I understand that this sounds like the plot to Flight of The Navigator, but it’s true.”
They had another article that I found very compelling. It was apparently about a rising case of a weird patterning on people’s legs. Toasted Skin Syndrome they called it.
When I first saw this on my leg, (I didn’t notice for ages) I immediately googled skin cancer. Then I checked every link. I didn’t learn much, go to the doctor for clarity the links said. So then I went to the doctor.
The doctor was very fascinated by my pattern and called in another doctor to examine me.
I felt odd sitting there being prodded, while not wearing any pants. (by which I mean trousers, not underwear. I rarely go to the doctors commando) This is why I’ve never visited a gynecologist.
I asked them if I had skin cancer. Should I make out a will? What about my wife and children?
Then they asked me if I had a heater. No I say. Do I have a laptop? Yes, yes. Do I sit with it on my lap sometimes? Hmmm yes I think so? For long hours? I guess. Is 4 hours considered long? Yes.
It was just my laptop battery inflaming the veins on my leg.
Which it is doing even as I type.
Ouch.
Goodbye.
ooops I now have this too- did yours ever fade?!
yes after a couple of months
Did it completely go away? I have it all over my legs from a space heater and I’m a girl so I’m kind of freaking out. I look like one of the Silent Hill nurses!
yes it did, it fades but very slowly. it an inflammation of the veins from the heat
So as long as you stop standing at the radiator it should go away in time.
I feel like a Doctor.
Thanks for sharing your experience! I also have this from a space heater. The discoloration is the same as yours now, it’s been almost 2 months. Hope this will fade away completely in time.. Greetings
it will, although i have more from standing near a heater now