Don’t you love spam? I do.
I’ve had a growing temptation to reply to some of these. Just imagine the correspondence!
I want to know more. As I have mentioned before, I enjoy the story telling aspect.
“Hey do you remember the time when..”
No but tell me more stuff I ought to remember.
Subject: My new piquant collection of photos outside the city
From: Migdalia MeeksHowdy, dude!
I have been dreaming to have a bare skin collection of photos outside the city for almost a fortnight.
Now I have several hot pictures showing me wearing my most fascinating lingerie
by the picturesque river and stralling all naked outside the city.
It is wonderful! I am so happy and I wish to know what you say about my pics.
Please, Write me right in my profile any time!
If only life was like this. Women sending ‘Bare skin’ photos in fascinating lingerie to random men, while ‘stralling’ all naked outside a city.
I love to strall myself.
Apparently some woman rode the NYC subway yesterday wearing only a pair of knee-high boots. The newspaper report said she was happy to pose for photos. In the very next sentence they mentioned that people were trying to locate her. The article was suitably vague about why they wanted to find her. Punishment or praise do you think? My bet is on the latter.
Subject: You have just received a new message from Bella
From: Aiko EdvigeMy mate told me that I could quickly locate a man in my neighbourhood for casual dates without any responsibility.
This is precisely what I desire!
It’s my account
I’m disappointed in you Bella. What happened to no sex before marriage? What about Edward?? I thought he was ‘the one’.
Listen Bella, you can’t escape responsibility. Sooner or later we must all bear the consequences of our actions. You can’t just be a Trampire forever.
Also why are you calling yourself ‘Aiko’ Bella, make up your mind. Pick an identity and stick with it. It’s confusing.
Subject: Make her shameful dating passions done
From: Nola TinoBrowse your nearby partner pix and vids and hook up with her today
Make her shameful passions done what? What’s done? Who’s been done. That sentence wraps itself around my brain like an octopus. Shameful dating passions done. All those words almost make sense.
Baffling.
Subject: I decided to be a bad girl tonight, sweetheart! View my latest nude pics and vids right now
From: Celsa AndreeI still remember you from that dirty evening we spent all alone.
Do you remember how mind-blowing and fantastic it was?
I still have videos in my profile where I have on that tiny black dress.
It was the best time ever – bright, desirable and great.
Come on, see my profile and you will recollect every trifle. Contact me as soon as possible!HI…umm… I’m sorry, but I’m afraid I don’t remember you. You must have the wrong person.
Really? Are you serious? We had such a wonderful time – It was so mind-blowing. I mean, I don’t recollect a lot of the trifles due to the medication I was on, but it was really great!! Don’t you recollect my trifles?
No, no I’m sorry, I really don’t remember any trifles. I really do think you have the wrong person.
Come on! How could you forget? I mean, Didn’t it MEAN ANYTHING to you? DON”T YOU CARE????
Uh…..
YOU SAID I WAS SPECIAL! YOU SAID I WAS THE ONE!! FUCK YOU, YOU ASSHOLE! I HOPE YOUR COCK ROTS AND FALLS OFF!! JERK!!! GO TO HELL.
Oh hey!… I do remember now…
The photos below are not related to this post. (Tentatively you could say the people behind spam are like spiders spinning intricate webs, just throwing out lures and hoping for a bite. But only tentatively. It’s pretty thin stuff.)
In any case I’m ludicrously pleased with this photo. My hand didn’t shake, and each hair on its legs are nice and crisp. (I took 20 photos to get my hand to not shake in just 1. Click on the closeup photo, it to see the tiny hairs on its legs. Exciting stuff.)
And look how golden he is, and so beautifully translucent. Like a drop of honey on a wire. (I told you I was ludicrously pleased with this photo.)
Spider in the Sun
Spider in the Sun – Closeup
I see I need to up my game
Is Kerr not wearing shiny leggings anymore?
Yeah, but . . . I kinda gave up on looking at white women
That is a gorgeous, glowing spider!
hahaha you always make me laugh with your wicked sense of humour. Love the spider too
thank you x
Your posts are never predictable. And always interesting. For these reasons and more, I’ve nominated you for a Beautiful Blogger award. See the details on my own blog, if you so desire.
ah thanks gabriel
Seriously, you get better spam than I do. Love the spider. I think I want to try stralling. It sounds like the sort of thing I imagine a poncy James Joyce character would do. Maybe the spam-writer is inspired by the Modernists; the Will Self of spammers. I’m reading something in which the author has described the water in the bathtub as “scathing”. It’s one of those poetic sorts so I’m not sure if it’s meant to be scalding (there are references later to steam rising and all that) or there’s some cleverness with language being attempted there.
this is only round one. just wait for round 2 of the spam. I ought to send you some so you can ask them to include you in their spam rounds. highly entertaining stuff.
Stralling also sounds like a synonym for masturbation. I don’t know why it just does in my mind.
I have always found haughty bathtubs to be scathing.
The spider 0_0 He is very juicy looking…… We don’t have interesting wild life like that here.
maybe i should have fed him to trappy – i bet you do though, this spider looked average in the shade
Pingback: Sick of Strange faces? Just Looking For Screw? You Came To Right Place. « Tin Roof Press