Columbia Road Squabbling & Misplaced Succulents

Couples at Columbia road flower market squabbling over pots, plants and decor, incapable of making firm decisions. Relieved: At least we’re not the only ones.

A couple rushed into one store to return a large potted plant.

The androgynous one had dark glasses and was wearing a T-shirt that said “MORE ISSUES THAN VOGUE” in big bold helvetica, her other half, a voluptuous femme was in a black tie-up dress.

Both spent the next 5 minutes removing every plant of the same variety to check for height and leaf quality, blocking an entire end of the store while being wonderfully indecisive.

They were shortly followed by a male gay couple who overhearing me ask The Ex

“Are we taking a cab? I have no money.”

said

“There’s always one!”

While I certainly feel bonded to the fellow community, I’m also exhausted.

The ex spent much of the morning hissing at me because the call of the Mecca (Harrods) like a beacon was too strong, and apparently I’m not efficient enough getting to and fro Columbia road market.

Or walking, or looking at plants, or picking the plants or the correct pot size, shape and colour. In short: everything

Turns out what with all the squabbling, we seem to have lost a succulent. Crap.

I blame the ex entirely.

Good etiquette dictates you avoid quarreling in front of strangers. You hiss under your breath or merely raise an incredulous eyebrow. All subsequent conversation is conducted in suitably frosty tone to indicate displeasure until you get home.

While it’s been a fierce internal struggle I’ve reconciled myself to the idea that I lack the good breeding required to fight discreetly and spent much of the cab ride back alternatively sulking and scolding the ex for my succulent loss. Loudly.

Quite frankly, it was due. Payback for an entire morning of getting it.

Plants looking good though.

(Replaced the lost succulent promptly from the small flower stall in Angel)

99-Windowsill-Succulents-Herbs

Succulents. One in the red pot is the replacement

Succulents. One in the red pot is the replacement

Window with bottles

Window with bottles

Herbs & Maiko

Herbs & Maiko

Bike & Shadows

Bike & Shadows

Girl Boobies

Girl Boobies

Girls turning: make your own

Girls turning: make your own

Purple Butterfly Flowers

Purple Butterfly Flowers

Hanging Trumpet Peach Flower

Hanging Trumpet Peach Flower

Alpines: Snowdrops

Alpines: Snowdrops

Crowds & Stall

Crowds & Stall

African Daisies

African Daisies

Lady Seller

Lady Seller

Purple Flowers

Purple Flowers

Hard man with soft flowers. The hardest men in London selling florals.

Hard man with soft flowers. The hardest men in London are selling florals.

Chilli Rounds

Chilli Rounds

Flowers like meat

Flowers like meat

White Peonies

White Peonies

French Lavender

French Lavender

Colourful Cacti

Colourful Cacti

Crowds: I've taken a similar photo before but the crowds are so overwhelming that it's not possible to document Columbia road without one

Crowds: I’ve taken a similar photo before but the crowds are so overwhelming that it’s not possible to document Columbia road without it

About these ads

8 thoughts on “Columbia Road Squabbling & Misplaced Succulents

    • I have to say – its hard to think while trying to navigate the crowds. i don’t know how people go to festivals. because i imagine its not unlike this – just queuing to walk down a street. The ex had a similar scowl-y face on.

  1. Ok, I had no idea that succulents are plants. You write succulent, I’m thinking of steak. Or pork chops. Or pork belly.

    You get my drift.

    Which is why “Flowers like meat” totally resonated.

  2. Long time lurker who enjoys reading your blog and your work. Just wanted to say that I bought your Modern Insight print from Kulture Shop today. Thanks for creating it :-)

Deranged comments preferred

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s