WIP Sketch Book – Purple & Gold

Had a fairly productive weekend aside from the Friday.

• Painted the background quickly friday night for a new piece
• Painted in some pages of my sketch book
• Did a logo
• Did some quick brand standards
• Finished and submitted an illustration piece
• Did some more work in my sketch book

Here is one below that I’m still working on. I like tight, neat lines so I need to go over it with a biro and clean it up a bit.

Rest to follow eventually as I work my way through them.

Like the UKBA I have a large backlog of unfinished sketch book pages.

Purple & Gold

The Great Catscapade

I’ve come to a potentially life altering decision.

Luigi, my Bombay cat set to be the new internet sensation.

I’m tired of seeing these so-called ‘cute’ cats take to the stage when I know Luigi, the mastermind who wrangled his devious way into our house by being an adorable stray, who manipulatively demanded that he be petted nearly constantly (“These pitiful humans, they love to pet furry critters. Now they shall be in my power!”),

Who then like the mafioso he is really is, eliminated all competition by chasing away the other house cats, recruited a doltish henchmen (A similarly coloured, stupider cat, called Porky who waddles around behind his master.)

and who now rules the house with an iron fist in a velvet paw.

How is such a cat not destined for internet-meme-10-second greatness?

All I need is the co-operation of my parents, a selection of tiny hats and sunglasses and maybe a cigar or two.

I think I can get my gran to knit him a sweater once she recovers from her broken collar-bone.

Then I can sit back and wait for the millions to roll in!

Endorsements! Adverts! YouTube videos!

How can this plan fail??

The world and it’s Buzzfeeds, Reddits 4 chans and imgurs will be ours!!

BUWAHAHAHAHA!! Meow Hiss.

Luigi Sketch Final

Luigi perched on my mothers shoulder like (as Moof would say), a little Nazgul. Or as someone on FB said – Comma Cat. Clings nice and snug, like a comma on a sentence.

Cat Skyping with Mom & Leo

Watercolours And Spam – An Unlikely Combo. Like Surf And Turf.

I enjoy watching spam evolve as old versions of the same grift go out of date.

The whole Nigerian Prince thing is clearly not getting these guys any love.

So now I get random emails from sober sounding names like ‘Joanne Pasqualle’ or ‘ ‘Alison’.

Sometimes they almost look legitimate.

“I need a man’s shoulder! Contact me… please”

My god. What’s she going to do with his shoulder?

Subject: I am positive I! know you! And I have some hot stuff for you. Check out my recent hot photos

Aren’t you the handsome honey with whom we had the most gripping day some time ago?
Remember, I was afraid of swimming in the river and you told me I’d be fine and we had a good time together?
You were single then and I had a jerk of a boyfriend.
We split up long ago and I am free now.
Welcome to my online profile with kinky photos and contact me right now!

See, I really don’t know what penis would fall for this. It’s not like someone reading this would just happen to have had a one-nighter with someone swimming in a river (where the hell is this set anyway?)

“Well I don’t think I ever lived near a river but…hey! she sounds ‘friendly’ I’ll contact her!”

That really can’t be that likely…can it?

From: Rock, Subject: Passionate stud is looked for for a babe romp!

Hello there, well-hung dude! We are wanting a stunningly hot dude
to entertain hens one of these evenings. We are going to a restricted birthday party
and you’ll be the only stud allowed! Join our party

The title of the email and the contents seem rather conflicting. Is the email from a passionate stud looking for-for a babe to romp with? Or is it for a stunning hot dude looking for romping babes? I’m so confused.

I still recollect you from that fascinating day we spent together.
Do you keep in mind how stunning and fantastic it was?
I still have pics in my profile where I have on that stylish black dress.
It was the best time ever n vivid, passionate and carefree.
Come on, see my profile and you will remember every detail. Write me asap!

This one doesn’t even specify what happened on this stunning and fascinating day. It was fascinating. You were fascinated. I was fascinated. It was all stunning. Don’t ask me any more questions, just read the words hot hot sex big penis and reply me asap!

I happened to glance at a friend’s email this one time (…at band camp. Sorry I had to say it. It was in my brain) and it was from a legitimate person they had bonked, who wrote exactly like a spam-bot.

“Lets have sex. You are hot.”

That was pretty much all that was in the email. At the time I was kind of stunned but only now has it dawned on me that this person should really move to Nigeria. They are really wasting their talent and eloquence here.

“Hi, sweetheart.

My name is Allison Howard. I work as a sells manager in a big firm. And now I am looking for intelligent, not silly fellow to chat with some continuation.

I liked your photos and private information about you. That’s why I had an idea to write you. I always sex hungered but I don’t fuck with everyone but only with guys who could impress me. So, you could invite me to go to theatre if you like me too. I wait a message from you, darling?”

Well I’m no silly fellow!  I can chat with continuation (about hungry sex, intelligently even, sure why not.)

I love that ‘big firm’ is left vague. – Just a ‘big firm’. Don’t worry about it. It’s a big firm, I make big money. No problem.

What’s the name of the firm? Oh uh its just called … firm. Big…firm. Look I said don’t worry about it ok?

Anyway I haven’t posted any work up in a while because I’ve been so in love with my camera, I’ve not bothered to scan some new drawings (or finish them up as I promised myself I would! Why??? God why do I procrastinate so much?? Come on! Finish shit!)

Ok pep talk over.

Here is the drawing.

I like to scan the final pencil sketches - in case I botch it up, then I can just print out the sketch and start over.

17th Century Lady Pencil

I bought a small box of water colours the other day for this job I just got. I detest watercolours. They never do what I tell them to. I seriously think I need to stick to dry mediums or acrylic but I really feel this urge to do soft, beautiful watercolours, of cute adorable characters like everyone else is on the internet.

In any case, I’m trying a few test water-colour runs before I tackle the paid job. This was one of them.

I don’t know if I like the colour of her dress or the way the water-colour hasn’t blended nicely. Ugh.

I’m mostly happy with the green bits. Except it turned out to be a rather virulent shade of unnatural green. (But I rather like it still)

I might work her over with a ball-pen. I’m far too controlling for water-colour.

17th Century Lady Watercolour.

Another One Day Project

I revert back to my former bad opinion of one day projects.

I decided since I rarely scribble or use colour, I’d give both a shot.

The brief was on Michael Jackson.

Passe, I know.

Quotes about MJ - "Razza Saleem said..."

Quotes about MJ - "He May Be Eccentric..."

Bad drawing of MJ. Baby in a bag came out ok.

 

 

 

Remote

 

Remote with Varnish. This didn't turn out very well.

At home I used to walk around with the remote in my pocket, even if I wasn’t watching tv like when I went to the loo.

If I left the house I’d hide it under pillows, the couch, my bed or if I was feeling particularly creative, in the piano.

I probably need help.

Tirthal Rai is Getting Married

Why the hell is everyone getting married??

Sketch 1

Sketch 2

Sketch 3

Experiments with an idea called “Indians Love Blondes”

The Man

Leo published an article on homophobia in a magazine called “The Man”.

My two gay flat-mates “Rocky and Hans” featured mainly in it. “Hans”, an anally clean housewife/caterer, “Rocky” a pot-head stylist.

The article briefly bitched about “Rocky’s” laziness, but was just a small part of the article, which then went on to talk about larger issues, gay misconceptions, general homophobia, the partnership roles being exaggerated etc.

Rocky read this article recently, and petulantly sulks for about five minutes, and then says…

“Doode, I don’t like, sit around all day….”

….and then puffs on the spliff in his other hand.

Terrible drawing

Todays News: March 14th Steak and Blow-Job Day

Dil To Pagal Hair

According to Leo and a site called steakandbjday.com March 14th is officially a male valentines day.

Replacing flowers for meat and chocolates for blow-jobs.

Just what every man wants, the site and Leo claim.

…And in a parallel universe,

March 14 is also the unofficial celebration for Pi Day [ π: 3.14.]

It is usually celebrated at 1:59 PM (in recognition of the six-digit approximation: 3.14159).
Some, using a twenty-four-hour clock rather than a twelve hour clock, say that 1:59 PM is actually 13:59 and celebrate it at 1:59 AM or 3:09 PM (15:09) instead.

Parties have been held by mathematics departments of various schools around the world. (I love that bit.)

In defense of V day, I must admit, I did have very some good steak Feb 14th. No BJ though. No ding-dong either.

I always assumed the point of Valentines day was for the man to shower faux affection, flowers and expensive lingerie on a woman. She would hopefully be pleased with his offering and would perhaps reward him with BJs?

Sketches

Leo turns to me and says

“I can see from the progression of your work that your sketches are getting betterer and betterer.
So how does it feel to be in a profession that has the same name as one of Christina Aguilera’s shoes?”

I’m slightly bemused by this remark.

Why would Christina Aguilera be wearing a shoe called an ‘Illustrator’?

No, no says Leo, a ‘sketcher’.

Idiot.

Sketch Book page

Sketch Book page bedroom thumbnail

 

 

Why Can’t I Focus?

 

Fat Kids Sketch

There is a program on TV called “Honey we’re killing the kids”.

They take some poor hapless parents and their slightly plump child, morph it’s pudgy image on a program that predicts what he or she will look like as an adult.

It always looks like a big huge fat blob that only vaguely looks human.

The ‘scientists’ then turn to the parents and say,

“Don’t you want to help your child?”