Conspiracy Theory: The Illusion of Control

I have a conspiracy theory, in fact its a great theory. In fact, it’s not even a theory. It’s a goddamn fact.

You know at zebra crossings or at signals? They have those boxes with a big white button and a “WAIT” sign above it that lights up?

So, you supposedly press the big white button when you want to cross the road, the “WAIT” lights up and the signals change from green to red… just for you!

What nonsense!

The signals don’t change because you press a button in a box. They function on a timer. If every idiot wanted to cross the road and pressed a button that made the signals change the entire city would be in total chaos.

It’s just a button connected to a light bulb that lights up.

You press the button,

“Ah!” you say, the little light goes on, “WAIT” it says and you think,

“Ah! ‘WAIT’, something must be happening, the signals are changing faster just for me…..”

The Illusion of Control my friends!

So the transport police cleverly controls the amount of jay walkers running around while the signals are still green, therefore logically, less pedestrians getting hit by great big buses that are driven by slightly blind sighted drivers.

Less jay walkers and car crash victims possibly (which is, of course, great).

What bugs me is if I’m waiting by a signal, not pressing the button (because I know) and some fool next to me says patronizingly

“You have to press it first…heh heh “

and then smiles at me like I’m some kind of amateur zebra crosser.

The Illusion of Control!

I doubt that its provable but even if people questioned its possibility, I could counter by saying that they must all just be in denial.


7 thoughts on “Conspiracy Theory: The Illusion of Control

  1. you know what else bugs me?The peugeot car [or whatever car] advertisement with the jiggling bums…. what a bloody ugly car, who the fuck would buy it??? And that advertisement?? How does watching a bunch of models shake their booties make me want to buy an ugly car?

  2. Hahaha. Hilarious string of comments.Yea Jan, silly timers embedded in stupid boxes is all thats there.Although it does help cut down accidents dont it?Always a trade-off somewhere.

  3. hey thats not the point. i dont care if it cuts down accidents. i just hate the box with a bulb and a button. it bugs me being so easily manipulated

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