I went to Brighton last Wednesday to see a Printmakers exhibition. I’ve learnt my lesson from last time (we only got as far as the M23 before we crashed the car)
..and took the train with some classmates. It was my first unofficial class trip since school.
It was freezing and windy. We went to the pier, which was abandoned and empty in the cold.
I was determined to play on the claw machine.
I was determined to win Goddamnit!
The prize was Donkey from Shrek
First I rolled in a shiny 50 pence.
It rolled back out.
It did this flirty thing twice just to taunt me before it finally took my money.
So much for foreplay.
I was excited and eager as I moved the claw around.
Back first..then right… It dropped…yes…yes thats the one ..do it…oh..oh…almost got it…grip it….come on!…
The damn claw was limp.
For some reason this feels like a sex analogy.
I admitted defeat and trudged off.
But soon the spirits of my Zoroastrian forefathers rallied me. Screw it, I thought, I’ll waste some more money.
So another pound was converted into shiny ten pence coins.
Damn. 90 pence later I had only succeeded in turning Donkey upside down.
Fuck it. I’ve wasted enough.
But those damn forefathers wouldn’t stop bugging me.
So I got some more coins.
And what do you know, on only my 8th attempt and 2 pounds 30 pence later, I finally won the damn thing.
Euphoric and victorious, me and my Zoroastrian forefathers returned triumphantly to London.
– Oh yeah the exhibition was great.