Someone, was telling me yesterday about the amazing sex that they had with a certain guy.
“…Oh my god he can keep going for hours and hours, he’s like a woman, once we kept doing it for like, 2 hours”
I say, with no sarcasm.
“Yeah and I had to ask him to stop, can you imagine? I was just tingling in my arms and couldn’t breathe.”
I ask slightly disbelievingly
“Yeah you know how that feels right? You’ve just had so much sex, you’re like, numb and your chest feels like…(makes hand gesture)”
I say uncertainly,
“Well why don’t you date this guy”
“Mmm no…no he’s not boyfriend material, he’s just …for sex. And we don’t even talk we just …fuck. I just call him and go to his house especially when I’m drunk…. but no, we don’t talk”
“But doesn’t that feel weird? I mean not talking?”
“Mmm no, sometimes… it’s just about sex”
“Yeah I guess so.”
That seems pretty reasonable to me.
“Yeah. Oh my god! cock is just so amazing! Pull a fit guy at this party.”
“Oh I don’t think so today.”
I’m not in a particular hurry to bring a random boy home.
“No really its amazing, but make sure you get a guy with a big one”
But then, after this glowing recommendation she talked about another guy who ejaculates in 2 minutes flat but who happened to be a really lovely guy, one that you could talk to and listen to.
Then this is the problem, 2 minutes is not enough by a long shot. For anyone. And sometimes not even 30 mins gets me anywhere. (I’m cursed, fucking cursed!)
Secondly how do you audition for a guy who can talk and has a big penis?? Short of actually sleeping with them and then having to dump them while simultaneously resenting that they fucking wasted your time and got off without you.
(I have a firm policy with men, “If I don’t getoff, you don’t get off” you b*****d!”)
Besides that, a big penis just isn’t enough by itself. And thats another problem completely.
The naked guy at the squat party didn’t have great bits flying around, nor did the guy I had a very brief fling with in Bombay. In fact, it was sort-of……..thin. I might as well have done myself.
So the question is…
…Well I’m not sure what the question is.
But I think vibrators are really the only way to go.