High Noon

So, the ex came over to pick up any stuff left behind.

A vicious knock on the door. I open it.

This is the exhilarating conversation we had.


I say, rather limply, leaving the door wide open.

This person is wearing super-fucking-trendy style large sunglasses. Much like one of those mustachioed Mumbai cops.

I’m not sure if they say ‘hi’ or even ‘hello’. Maybe they just grunted.

I’m detecting a huge amount of hostility. Why, you might ask?

Who the fuck knows?? I wasn’t even the one who did the breaking up.

I hand over a bag of assorted things, gingerly holding it as if it were the a back-end of a viper. (There are three bags that need handing over)

“I can pick them up myself, you know”


I reply, somewhat surprised at the expression of the afore-mentioned hostility.

I decide I should probably shut the door.

The super-fucking-cool-and-trendy sunglass come off with a level of drama and a sigh that even a A-list celebrity would have been proud of.

“Can I leave this here”

and places an empty bottle of unknown origin on the counter.

I say “sure” about 30 seconds after the action was completed.

I’m beginning to feel somewhat redundant in this scenario and much more importantly, I really want some tea.

“I need to use your loo.”

A firm statement

“Is that ok?”

I wouldn’t have dared to say no even if it wasn’t.

I wander pointlessly around my living room, thinking about my tea.

The person comes down, picks up their bags and heads for the door. I didn’t dare pick them up this time.


I say, as they step out on the welcome mat.

The super-fucking-cool sunglasses come back on again but before they do, I get a brief glimpse of a pair of rolling eyes just as I close the door.

I finally go and make some tea.


13 thoughts on “High Noon

  1. Imagine if Moses were wearing super-fucking-cool-and-trendy sunglasses as he parted the waters. Or Copernicus when he discarded the earth-is-the-centre-of-the-universe theory.I’m rambling though. Goodnight.

  2. sure.. and moses(still wearing the super-fucking-cool-and-trendy sunglasses) would stand on the hill and say.. the first commandment of my club is you keep talking of my club… the second commandment of my club is…….well, you get the point.. hmm.. come to think of it thats not the only way i can connect moses to fight club.. talking to “god”… “god” telling him what to tell his followers.. him speaking for “god”..starting a “club” with members that keep growing.. similar “clubs” starting everywhere else.. all members being his space monkeys..hmm.. this is deep

  3. Ex’s suck major balls. Whenever they do well or start seeing someone else they make it a point to contact you and be all like “I just really want to be friends, there should be no ill will between us” and blah blah shi’ite. People, they’re the woist. -Who else but?

  4. Oh yea… Ex’s are better off as ex’s…Whenever I used to meet my ex ex (that’s the one prior to the newly ex-ed ex) he used to tell me that i really “needed to get over” him…”For my own good” Because i would “find someone else” Mad@r Ch*d…He stopped when i kicked him in the gonads at a party:))))))))giggleBe a bitch, get hold of the super-fucking-cool-and-trendy sunglasses and stomp on them..Cathartic no?

  5. yes i know! that makes me want to rip out my bowels when they tell me. Last time we broke up i got called at 3 in the morning only to be told how this person had sex with some stranger 4 days after we broke up. NOW they want to be ‘friends’ fuck being friends. fuck friendship. I also got the you should get over me, I’m not right for you, its for your own good and then don’t wait for me. hah of course should i start seeing anyone, i’ll be sure to announce it.and yet leo selfishly wont let me have one of this pals. he’s such a dog in the manger.

  6. Soounds like your ex really loves you. They just can’t deal with the big love.

    Love the blog. It pulls me in the room- and I can see the actions clear as day.

    I’m rooting for the 2 of you. x

  7. Pingback: Why ‘The Ex’ is Called ‘The Ex’ « Tin Roof Press

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