I seem to attract only idiots.
Last night we were at the Blues Bar, desperately stalking willing victims for a seat and if we were lucky, a table, for about 2 hours.
Amalia, Fernanda and I were all wearing heels and while mine were fairly small (and being both cautious, paranoid and an ex-girl scout, I also had a pair of slippers in my bag just in case), F’s heels unfortunately were 6 inches at least and were killers in every sense.
So eventually, Fernanda in her sexy kitten black and white heels managed to coerce and cajole a couple of guys into sharing their seats by both batting her eyelashes and demanding firmly. Needless to say, they could not resist.
The guy sitting opposite to us first asked Fernanda where she was from and then seemed surprised that Mexicans spoke Spanish. Fernanda spent the next 5 minutes yelling at him. I was afraid at some point there would be a fist fight but luckily she calmed down.
Did I speak Spanish? he asked,
“No I’m not Spanish. I’m from India”
“Indian. I’m from India”
I was getting really tired of hearing myself repeat it in different ways. It sounded stupider each time.
he shook his head.
“INDIA! I’M INDIAN!”
Finally something seemed to sink in his thick baseball cap wearing fat skull.
Fifteen minutes later he asked me if Spanish was my first language.
He followed that with asking me to dance on the tables, then he asked if he could come home with me and smoke a joint, He’d help me draw he said.
For fucks sake.