Note to self:

Your parents reading an article about you having sex is never a good thing.
Your parents reading an article about you having sex with random strangers is even worse.
Your parents asking you silly questions about it is excruciating.


3 thoughts on “Note to self:

  1. This is an appeal on behalf of a small peasant village in east of the mediterranean (in a country that shall remain nameless due to fears of sarcastic recrimination)needless to say this village is in dire straights. A recent drought has caused the loss of it’s most valuable resource; a male donkey by the name of ‘Buro’ (pronounced B-uw-ro). ”Buro’ was an indespensible source to his village. Not only was he its only mode of transport, but he was about to embark on his second term as its president before his untimely end. Due to Buros’ premature passing the village is currently without leadership and there are increasing fears that this could lead to their small society descending into ensuing chaos. ‘Buro’ also held great historic significance to the village as it was discovered he was second cousin twice removed, to the the donkey that Jesus rode upon during ‘palm sunday’. Hence the villages evergrowing desperation as it has lost it’s president,transport,tourist attraction and messianic leader all in one drought. We are therefore imploring you to ‘dig deep’ and please give what you can to the ‘Replace My Ass’ fund, so we can dispatch an ’emergency donkey’ to the village to succeed in ‘Buros’ previous duties. We thankyou for any help you wish to give.

  2. You have been cordially invited to attend a most lavish suaree’ at the gentle behest of Lord and Lady Chumley at the ‘Snooty-Pants’ Memorial hall in aristocratic Buckinghamshire. This ‘genial jamboree’ is set to commemorate those of us that manage attain such a wealthy and lavish disposition. It has long been a time-honoured traditon that we who live in such grand opulance gather together to regale each other with tales of our abundant riches, and then engage in the mockery of the less fortunate. There shall also commence the annual partaking of the ‘Rich Mans Games’, with the restoration of classics such as: ‘Pin The Fiver On The Poor Person’,’Spitting On The Vagrant’ and the ‘Egg And Spoon Race’ (performed by your lowly man-servant of course)We eagerly await your much expected acceptance to this invite.

Deranged comments preferred

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