The Sequel to the Deadly Disease

The funniest thing happened to me today. I just about managed to crawl out of bed, at a very very VERY late 8:36am after snoozing for an hour. *A symptom?*

I then spent a good five minutes sneezing for no reason. *Oh my god! Symptoms!* I got to work 30 minutes later than usual, and just plain 15 minutes later. [but that wasn’t because of the sneezing]

Followed by another good 6 minutes of sneezing at work. *Seriously, symptoms??*

Just before the sneezing fit, I had casually mentioned the legionaries thing to Danielle [Charis’s aunt and also a greek], purely out of the excitement of having a deadly bacteria present in my college. [damn exciting for me, my life is that dull]

Literally within minutes of my sneezing violently I get a call from Charis’s mum. There is, I’m sure, a greek hotline hidden deep within the bowels of the Beale & Inman shop that I have yet to discover. It’s probably exactly like the bat-phone, with that big red flashing button, except that instead of ringing it plays ‘Zorba the greek’ loudly.

Anyway Charis’s mum was very concerned about my health, and insisted on lecturing me for 10 mins on visiting a GP and making sure I was very careful and kept an eye on any possible developing symptoms etc while Charis fidgeted around dying to get me off the phone. His mum is so sweet and Charis always blushes like a little girl whenever she calls.

But now I see symptoms everywhere.

I’ve been feeling damn tired lately, especially in the morning.. *SYMPTOMS!!*

On a side note:
Habib who’s muslim, told ME that his father told HIM that the Prophet Mohammed had the longest arms. “Its true. I swear it!” he said.
[His father also read Readers Digest apparently. That is also true.]
To which Charis replied, “Yes Uncle, and my grandmother always told me Jesus had the nicest beard.”
“I swear, you are really the double bastard. What a crap you are” said uncle Habib.

I really love Habib, I’m going to miss him when I get fired.

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22 thoughts on “The Sequel to the Deadly Disease

  1. I can tell if someone is a boy or a girl by their writing. Men and women right SO differently. It’s my ‘gendar’. I have a great gaydar too. Just thought I’d announce that to all and sundry.

  2. I don’t believe a word of it. Although the gaydar bit I can buy. Mine is pretty decent, except when it comes to spotting dykes. Then its rotten. Women are such mysteries.

  3. I don’t notice mild typos and spelling errors. I have so much more [arty farty] things to live for mwuah mwah daahling I’m off to dream of my ex-ed ex. toooodles tra-la-la-la-la skipiing

  4. if i do blush (which i dont) but if i do, I assure you it is the manliest of all blushes. The greek hotline is only in use for complete emergencies, illness,loss of money,what time i’m coming home, what ill be eating that night, and to see if ive died yet. As you know my mother is concerned about absolutely everything, leading her to make great comments such as this..Soon after the 7/7 terrorist attack.Mother : “My son, i want you to be carefull when you travel on the train this morning and watch out as any thing could happen”.Me : “What should i be on the look out for mother?, a guy screaming Allah Akhbar!! and exploding, at to which point you want me to interrupt him mid-sentence (and mid-exploding) and say “sorry mate, you couldnt wait a second till i get off at the next station cos my mother wants me to be carefull today”.

  5. CCJL is hi-lar-yus. BBC Radio Style.I have not laughed this much since I got stoned and burnt down my bathroom.I love it how wog boys are so family oriented and have protective mothers.

  6. oh i see, yes I’ve cheaked on thi and she’s right. I just got told off for talking while a tutorial is going on in a different class. but i’m sorry the computer room is a public computer room. tough cookies.

  7. sorry I was being shouted at and distracted by Martin [who, if you remember likes to draw fat arses]What I meant was, yes I checked it out and ‘wog’ does mean anyone brown.I always thought it only meant pakistani-indian.Although I might add that Charris [the greek] has the complexion of strawberries and cream and is no where even NEAR brown.

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