Speaking of impulse buying…

I’ve been on the look out for a long time now, for the perfect pair of red shoes.
The ones that are not too high but not completely flat either. The ones that are comfortable but not ugly, that are not too fussy [bits & bobs or weird heels] yet aren’t boring, not too overpriced but not cheap enough that they fall apart in a month. And just the RIGHT shade of red.

Basically the Holy Grail of red shoes.

I finally found a pair. Hallelujah! The spirits of Oxford Circus be praised.

But they are just a teeny weeny tiny bit too tight around the toes.

Now I have bought many many many many shoes, most of which I have belatedly discovered are unbearably torturous. Sometimes you get lucky and manage to score a pair that look good and feel good. But its like a fucking lottery. The chances are you wont win.

But I am determined not to be hornswoggled THIS TIME! Much as I like them, if they don’t fit, back they will go [I can return them within 28 days as long as I don’t wear them outside.]

I can’t really judge EXACTLY how painful they will be unless I take them for a test run. So I’m walking around the flat in my new little red shoes, in a sweat shirt and my dirty jeans, cooking and trying to make salad, clip clopping around and it just feels so damn strange.

Pain level Gauge:

With socks: 5 mins- Somewhat painful pressure around toe.
With socks: 20 mins – Either pain level is diminishing or tolerance is building.
Removal of socks: 23 mins – Relieves pressure somewhat. Fits much better. But now feet are cold.

Well, since you asked, and I obviously have nothing better to do….

While you might not be impressed by this picture, it fits all requirements for the perfect red shoes [bear in mind price is a large factor] and they make my feet look much less clumsy.

Pain level: Fuck knows I took them off after 30 minutes.

30 thoughts on “Hallelujah

  1. i love hornswoggled. very roald dahl. 🙂and i’ve been searching for the perfect red shoes for many years now, so more power to you. are they heels? or sneakers?

  2. well spotted, it is dahl.well, I was so thrilled about my purchase that I found a pic of them online. They have a very low heel which is ideal for standing in bars or pubs but look good with jeans or trousers if need be. no bows and shit so clean lines fairly versatile.[although I do like bows on my shoes now and then]I’ve also realized how hard it is to find a decent red, purple, bright blue or nice green leather bag.I wish you hadn’t mentioned red sneakers. I want them now.

  3. i was gonna go into this lengthy explanation about how there are two variants to the red cones in our eyes and blahblah but i got bored of it and decided to stop.very cute shoes! pity most of them turn out to be COMPLETE BITCHES after 10 minutes of wearing them.yes scritch i feel your pain..having had more than my fair share of painful but oh-so-pretty shoes from hell..this is i’ve learnt- grin and bear the pain.yes.because there will NEVER exist a pair of shoes thats both comfortable and pretty (and heeled..coz im not talking sneakers here)we grin and bear it.this is our superpower.

  4. I found my perfect red pair after months of searching in three different countries. They hurt like hell too. Yesterday I bought a pair of bronze peep toed shoes, and then made the mistake of taking ecstasy and walking in them around the city for THREE HOURS. My head hurts and so do my feet. How do I put a picture in a comment, or on my blog? I want to show you my red shoes.

  5. surly: i don’t know about posting a pic on the comment page. upload it on a post and then try copy pasting it here. why would you drop e and walk? i’d just dancemadame mahima: yes I have almost resigned myself to a life of endless pretty shoe pain, but yet, there is a hope that one day, maybe one day……who knowsonce again: i feel envious. hmm yellow i like yellow too. but i cant wear it. being a bawa i’m yellow already.

  6. i, too, have red sneakers.sketchers makes a good pair though, if you’re interested. i’ve had mine since i was 18, and they’re not significantly holey yet. (or holy for that matter.)

  7. I don’t get this woman thing with shoes. There must be a Freudian link in there somewhere.OK, so you wear ’em to impress other women.Because men aren’t looking at your shoes. You know what we’re lookign at.

  8. eM: yes I think I like the sound of sketchers. Also vans.Devilled: I adore boots, which i mostly seem to collect rather than wear.My fav 2 pairs are my purple suede and blue suede. The minute I saw the blue ones and the purple ones standing in that window so lonesome and colourful I knew they were destined to belong to my feet.Arthur: on the contrary, its not JUST a female thing. Many men actively enjoy looking good and wearing nice shoes [perhaps not you] but I think the difference is that male shoes dont have as many varieties in heel or style, or dont hurt enough to crib about them as much.secondly, it is total bullshit that men dont look at womens shoes. A beautiful woman walks into a bar in a stunning dress wearing canvas sneakers- you’re not going to go “Wow how hot!” You’re going to say “Sneakers? Why the fuck is she wearing sneakers with that dress?”Now a woman in a stunning dress wearing deadly stilettos – you just HAVE to look. egghead : I love you. you even comment when you’re on the move.

  9. I used to hate stillettos. I was adamant that I would not put my feminist feet through the pain and agony that is a poorly constructed and whimsical invention with no proper use. I have mellowed over the years though, and now I love heels, as long as they are not too high and I am able to wear them. I hate boots though.And I have a pair of canary yellow high-top cons, as well as black and red low-cut Dunlop volley style sneakers. Sigh.

  10. Those are not painful shoes.Woman, suck it up, those shoes and pretty and kitten heeled for crying out loud! And yes yes you whined about the tight around the toes bit but come on, they’re purdy…Aldo patent reds, am I correct?I used to be a shoe whore…now I’m a shoe fool.But I love shoes. LOVE LOVE LOVE.

  11. basho: thank you, but who are you?Surly: I have no idea what the last two kinds of shoes are.So Leo, hows that manly facial hair growth coming along? Do people still mistake you for a slightly butch lesbian?Armchair: I don’t know you so I can’t insult your inability to cultivate any facial fuzz, but yes red shoes turn me on big time too.Jupiter: grrr I am SO turned on by those babies. No of course I have no real reason to complain about the pain. They are hardly up to any serious torture levels. But thats precisely what I’m trying to avoid and I love to complain. armchair: I’d try and explain but its wasted on a non gay man. [I’m assuming generally but like Leo I’m sure you’ve tried it]

  12. Scritch, EXACTLY! I’ve used that example myself numerous times. Hot woman in a gorgeous dress… and… sneakers. Men look at women’s shoes (and feet) ALL the time – either consciously or subconsciously. Woman walking in a bar wearing canvas sneakers is my favorite example.Leo is full of shit. You have gorgeous feet.And I’m very intriguied by your friend Ratna. Her pics on your blog, please! 🙂

  13. If Leo thinks you have ugly feet he needs to see mine. Once my friends took a photo of me standing in the kitchen with no shoes on, and they only photographed me from the knee down. When I got the photograph it looked like an old Indian man was standing in the kitchen.But you, you have great feet.

  14. there there, to know me is something a lot of people aspire towards. its just something which happens only when given enough time hehi know what you mean about the shoes – i look at shoes all the time, and someone famous (must have) said that bit about knowing a person through the shoes they wear.. but yes, i know so many women who have gorgeous shoes which hurt like hell. and i bow to anyone who can wear them and dance, bearing all that pain just to look good..mediocretes – eeh, where in the world did you see someone in a gorgeous dress and *sneakers*? unless they’re en route to or from a party of course

  15. Oh I *heart* your red shoes, insane pain notwithstanding.And I’ve been looking for a good kinda dark/jade green leather bag for quite sometime now, with rotten luck. Its like the holy grail of leather bags or something….gah.Although < HREF="http://www.bagborroworsteal.com/ui/details?productId=5338" REL="nofollow">this<> satchel is pretty darn close to perfection…..sigh.

  16. *sigh*I had a hard enough time looking for plain old brown boots with the right heel.And who would’ve thought that the perfect brown jacket would be so hard to find? I’m always looking for an impossible combination of quality and a cheap price tag. I’m seriously considering designing my own clothes, shoes and handbags.Mediocretes, if you read this, I know you’re going to tell me that I’m all talk, no action. Well, a big pre-emptive fuck off to you.

  17. Bleh…at least you <>get<> shoes your size!!!I do not and it is horrible!! *sulks*So I need to get everything custom made…and there are all these restrictions on the styles they can make!!Did I say it’s awful?

  18. holy crap, you’re turning into freeshee. good grief. shoes, random comments, popularity. what has this world come to? (yeah yeah, i know, you’ll put this down to jealously.)

  19. mediocretes: thank you Leo IS an ass, and no I cant for various reasons involving privacy and all that boring crap that I can’t possibly advertise hottie ratna, not even for you.surly: just for that I shall leave you many comments [mediocretes too]armchair: we’ll he might see women in bad shoes. its not unheard of [me]Punkster: I do love the colour [yum]. yum yum I want too many thingsRaindrop: I think designing is the best way to go. 2 friend in class has a his gorgeous huge red leather bag that looks like it’s couture but she just had it made to measure in thailand. I’ve decided to follow her excellent example.szerelem: Not true at all. I have the worst time finding shoes. I’m an in between size so I must either settle for swimming in a larger size pair or squeezing into a smaller one. It is very tragic, but I sympathize loads.Leo: hahahahaha bow down to me BITCH! Besides I have always loved shoes, you’re just in denial that I was ever feminine. The comment thing is eating you up with envy isn’t it? This is what happens when you insult me. eM: smack him

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