Some time ago, the ashen and lizard-yellow bawa hue that I can’t seem to get rid of began to bother me.
Perhaps it was the constant bombardment of advertisements by every skin care company about those creams with tiny amounts of tan in them. I was obviously brainwashed. I was determined to be bawa and pasty no longer! No! I would glow with the light of a thousand goa suns.
So, in my vanity and a moment of money spending madness I purchased
“GARNIER SUMMER BODY MOISTURIZING LOTION SUN KISSED LOOK”
Gradually builds a light natural looking tan. Or so the bottle said [it didn’t say so literally, that would be far too trippy].
The bottle is confidently coloured a beautiful chrome yellow [Much like my school house badge, ‘Tagore’]. Inspired by their confidence I decided to try it out that very night.
Yes indeed, vanity is a terrible sin.
So, finish my late night shower, very excited.
I had visions of myself rising from my sleeping beauty slumber, glowing with a beautiful natural golden tan from morning to night. Everyone would say “My, how radiant you look! How ever do you do it?” [or something equally sycophantic]
In small quantities this cream has a lovely chamomile scent [probably to disguise the smell of all the chemicals in it], however in large quantities, for example when I lathered myself head to toe in the stuff, can knock out a horse.
My ex complained prolifically all night.
I woke up and noticed no real difference in skin tone. I was still as pasty as ever. I also belatedly discovered it was very sticky and I felt horrible [and icky even].
Fine fine, grumble grumble. So I gave up on the idea of a summer body and used it only on my face.
But the problem is: am I building up a light natural looking tan in one small area, while from the neck down I remain as pasty as ever?
Only time will tell. Perhaps I have a ring of yellow underneath my chin.
Vanity vanity oh dear.
PS- Rami, my boss did say I looked like I was glowing and healthy. So Hah! Maybe it DOES work after all.