The Problem with Litigation

This Belle G. Boutique is refusing to pay me.

I might have to summon her to court.

In this wonderful world-wide web era, one can send someone to court for the princely sum of just 30 pounds online. Her Royal Majesty’s Money Claim Online only states that one cannot claim against:

The Government and (surprise surprise) Her Majesty.

The only hitch is this silver lined cloud is that I might need a lawyer to represent me in court.

“They say that only a fool has himself for a client, and by jove, I am that fool!” Gomez Adams

I have this great vision of what court might be like in the J. vs Gray case.

I shall point my finger at her in an accusatory way and shout out something totally scandalous yet so revelatory that the whole case is tied up. The entire court will be up in arms. The judge will bang his little hammer and yell

“ORDER! ORDER IN THE COURT! I HOLD YOU IN CONTEMPT!”.

Then all the journos and press people will cheer and throw up their press passes in the air.

Leo thinks I’ve been watching too much TV.

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19 thoughts on “The Problem with Litigation

  1. Hardly. Leo knows nothing.That’s precisely what I do whenever I go for a court hearing. In fact, I’ve done it each and every zero time I’ve attended one.

  2. i AM a journo. 🙂 and i have no idea what other press-like activities are. why do anything else if you can be a reporter?and i suck at ironing.(Soooooooo bad, i know. but it was begging to be said.)

  3. i hate people who dont pay up on time..those bastards.i hope the belle grey bitch burns in hellbut hey u never know..she maybe processing the cheque or whatever..evertyime i work i only get my cheque about a month and half later..give her a call or drop her a mail and BE SURE to sign off with ‘i’ll see you in court.’(ive always wanted to say that!)

  4. @scritch – hmm. i have to admit – it sounds simpler at 5pm today than it did at 3am in the morning. sleep deprivation. sigh. no more blogger in the wee hours of the morning.@leo – yeah, looks like he isn’t.. what a pity, eh? and hobnobbing with the likes of you too! tsk tsk. revolting, i’m sure.

  5. can I be in the audience in the courtroom. pleasee?I have always been fascinated with the sheer number of people in hindi movies who are present in a court room.I’d like to be seated in the first row please.

  6. emn: `What kind of a journo exactly? Are you the Carrie Bradshaw type journos? or do you cover mafia murders and crime cases sort of stuff?once again: yes indeed I would love some moral support! at some point during the hearing maybe you could swoon dramatically

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