Halls-Mentholyptus

My policy of only smoking while drinking isn’t quite working out quite so well lately.

In London, where I drink once a week or so this is a great policy.

In Bombay some fool (Leo) or the other is usually sirening me

(is that a verbable word? Is verbable a word?) outside with booze and fags, so I’ve been smoking like a stove every evening for a week.

I now have a very throaty voice, which would be very sexy if I wasn’t hacking up phlegm every 5 minutes.

“Well hello there…..may I have a light?”

I might ask huskily, dressed in a slinky number and patent red shoes. Followed by…

“COUGH COUGH COUGH HACK WHEEZE CHOKE!”

So attractive.

Last night I coughed so violently, I came treacherously close to approving of the smoking blanket ban.

NO NO!! NEVER! GET THEE GONE EVIL VILE KEN LIVINGSTONE AND HEALTHY PUSHY ASSHOLES!

If anything it makes me more determined than ever.

For so long as I can breathe and swallow, I shall smoke and drink Amen!

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4 thoughts on “Halls-Mentholyptus

  1. this reminds me of that friends episode when phoebe is all phlegmy and sexy voiced. thanks to cold cold weather and inadequate clothing and lots of smoking, my voice is rather janis joplin also right now. enjoy it while it lasts. and drink hot milk with haldi if the cough is bothering you. it’s DISGUSTING, but it works like a charm, an actor friend of mine gave me some before a music audition and i was cleared up within half an hour.

  2. holy crap! that sounds vile. [if only my whole life was like a friends episode] I got up at 11 took 2 pills went back to bed at 2 and now am up again at 5. what a wasted day. thanks for the tip though. I’m too scared to try it now. haldi in milk yeesh.

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