Hanging Crit

1 of 120 postcards I screen printed like a fucking dynamo.

1 of 120 postcards I screen printed like a fucking dynamo.


(For some ‘Hanging’ might be true, but still, No.)

It’s about hanging up your work in the gallery space, your plans for it, your space requirements, frames etc.

Foz had previously threatened the class that if we didn’t give him the right dimensions/or layout plans he just wouldn’t bother to crit the space/the body of work on display. If nothing else that goaded me into staying late last night and bashing my head in.

So it was particularly infuriating when a bunch of people seemed to have not bothered or were just being all fucking wishy-washy and still got a crit (Foz is a very forgiving master)

A very, very lengthy crit. A crit of nearly ceaseless yawning, that lasted well past 8:30 pm, during which for the last hour and a half I couldn’t stop gritting my teeth.

Although not going through with a threat does seems to devalue any future threats I suppose being forgiving is a good thing. Well actually, it is a good thing but thats not what bothers me. (As always, I shall happily discuss what bothers me later.)

At some point I had visions of hurling myself at particularly time-consuming students and throttling them. Fucks sake man. 6 and a half hours in a crit! You spend less time waiting for a Visa! For fucks sake.

* Beware!! Rant to follow *

I have some serious problems with this egg-timer business. The first 3 people and the last 3 people to go get a raw deal. They get 10 minutes flat and that’s it and the last 3 people don’t even get the same level of energy and attention because by then everyone is exhausted.

By the middle Foz or Gary’s strictness with the timer slips leaving the door wide open for some people who then fucking talk and talk and fucking talk some more but add absolutely nothing to the conversation.

I have no objection to extensive feedback but mostly time is just wasted by some people waffling on and on and saying nothing.

Why does anyone need 20 minutes to talk anyway? You’re not saying anything that can’t be condensed into 2 minutes. At least let people give you feedback properly and stop being so fucking vague. I don’t see why other people have to suffer for a wafflers inability to be concise or clear.

Perhaps you might think I’m being a bit mean or unfair? But this is the final term, on the second year of a communication course. There is no justifiable ground to be charitable at all for poor communication. It’s equally unfair to the people who go first or last.

* End of rant *

By the end of the hanging crit I did want to hang some people. The thought of the pub was the only thing that kept me driven. God bless alcohol.

Martyn, Georgina and Ed (who were the last 3) get no real attention from anyone except Foz and Gary who have an amazing unwavering focus. My teeth on the other hand, have been ground down to stubs.

Highlights of the day:

Sigh. Alex makes me cringe. I know he’s going to get a bollocking every time, and every time he doesn’t nothing to prevent it. His entire attitude is one of a surly teenager.

I bet he’ll go on to write a book about how he went to St. Martins and everyone in his class was stuck up and he was like, ‘the outsider maaan’ and like, nobody ‘got him’ man. Whats there to fucking get? He just doesn’t seem to give a shit. He hasn’t for a while.

Gary was severe in his disapproval

“…and personally I would like you to be in the show but your attitude seems to suggest you don’t really care, and if you don’t care then I’d say you’re just not going in the show…because its everybody’s show… and if the work isn’t good enough it’s not fair to everybody else…I don’t know that’s just me …what does everybody else think?”

We all nod and murmur.

(For Gary that was pretty damn harsh)


Foz goes on to ask,

“I think this large drawing looks a lot like a photocopy Chris…”

Chris replies

“but it is a photocopy Foz”

You know those cartons where the guy whips out a big frying pan and whacks himself on the head? That was Foz.


Kept saying ‘shiiith’ instead of ‘sheet’ in her beautiful French accent and 1/8 of the class giggled quietly like nitwits (including me)

Tiphane is happily oblivious to such juvenile behavior.

PS – The studio has grown more and more like a tip and I can no longer give any credit to Ed alone for this.

I’d like to say I remembered more but all the yawning distracted me entirely.


2 thoughts on “Hanging Crit

  1. Pingback: Adam and Joe Illustration Crit. « Tin Roof Press

  2. Pingback: Hanging Crit Sequel « Tin Roof Press

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