I’ve noticed an alarming behavior pattern with the ex that I can’t seem to break out of.
I’ve begun to fill any silences when it’s just the two of us with seriously inane chitter-chatter.
I mean, as it is my conversation is generally full of inane chitter-chatter and pure rubbish, but not at this absolute rock bottom level. I can hear myself doing it and I kick myself, tell myself to stop but just can’t seem to.
I don’t do this with other people, I know.
With a good friend there can be many pauses in-between subjects that are just comfortable moments of silence, both content in the knowledge that no matter how long your list of deficiencies are you are happily tolerant of each other.
The ex and I have come to a point where we seem to have so little to say to each other anymore. Every outing is an argument, every discussion a stand-off.
The tension within the gaps in our speech seem to lie like a dead weight and hard as I try I can’t seem to quite fill them.
Inane chitter-chatter is the refuge of the dammed.