First Day on the Job

My first ever proper job today. I was nervous as hell yesterday.

I had planned on mastering both Flash 8 and Dreamweaver in the space of 24 hours on Monday but instead went to college early to pick up my remnant stuff lying around the studio; (frames, portfolio, cards etc).

Spent 10 minutes gossiping with Dan & Foz about their combined gaygiri and drunkenness on Friday.

Spent 15 minutes gossiping with Georgina about Dan & Foz’s gaygiri and drunkenness on Friday.

Foz and Dan came back to continue the gossip but the unfortunate arrival of a very stroppy Marios who wanted to rant about his poor marks sent the bastards scurrying away leaving me to grudgingly listen to his rubbish. I don’t care Marios, please go away.

He finally left and Martyn came back in for a gossip and a good ol’ bitch about Athier and Lisa.

I goaded Onnalin to come in so we could share a cab back to Brixton. The cabbie was cranky, we had her giant cardboard case over all the seats, the boot piled high with frames and a yellow birdcage secreted somewhere.

We then spent all afternoon watching Gordon Ramsay yell “FUCK” at people and then take off his shirt. Onnalin resists his sexiness for 2 episodes but by the 3rd one is has caved. Monty and Anders spent all afternoon cooking while we just watched people cook and then got fed.

Back to the job:

The first 2 hours of the day were spent in 2 board room meetings where the UFO lookalike, space-age, conference phone refused to work while all around purely technical people; web developers, software developers, program testers, IT managers were yelling out things like

“Hit it with something! Turn it off and then on again. Try pulling on that cable….Whats that wire for? Maybe someone unplugged it. Why is the mouse broken?”

All the bosses of this company are in Leeds while all the workers are in London. When the conference finally got moving, there was an hour of techie jargon with 50 varieties of acronyms flying back and forth at which point I started daydreaming of Geoff.

(it wasn’t Geoff but does that matter really?)

Have so far successfully navigated through my day. It wasn’t as technical as I thought. Made a very dubious and foundation level animation for the boss’s boss but was told not to put too much effort into it before it was approved. It was meant to be very ‘dynamic’ but instead looks quite floppy.

Spent a good part of the day secretly emailing people out of pure boredom and downloading msn.

Only one person writes back promptly (clearly they have no life either) but and as I read it my boss walks by and happens to view those immortal lines “tubbies fucking”.

Thus begins my post-MA, distinction-level career.

Martyn & Simeon earlier in the week: Chandos. Simeon makes it a point of practice to match with at least one person in the class.


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5 thoughts on “First Day on the Job

  1. On the first day of my work, I witnessed my neighbour knock his cup of coffee and I was spreading papers napkins on the table while he was wiping his keyboard

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