Everyone has a typically predictable pattern of behaviour when it comes to finding a mate. Birds dance and strut, chimps have grunting, whooping and chest thumping followed by regular ol’ humping.
Leo on the other hand is a marvel of genetics. He works against all previous millions of years in-built mating techniques. He seems to work right against his species. We all have great hopes that he will never breed because sperm like his really ought to be studied in a petri dish, not run around fertilising eggs willy-nilly.
Chronological steps in the Leo’s mating pattern:
a] Dude I met this chick yesterday, she’s really cute and she said she really liked my writing!
b] We talked for ages and ages. I really, really like her man. I really do.
c] She really likes me too man!!
d] I’m bored I can’t stand her
e] Why is she still calling me?? Doesn’t she get a hint?
f] Doode!! I met this really cute chick yesterday….
And so continues the round-about of life and where for now, we must leave our young Leo, fending his way on the harsh plains of the Serengeti. [Andheri East]
Perhaps one day, he will live in a world…… a world free from sexual misadventure and celibacy… One day perhaps he too will be Born Free *rolling single tear*
*Sing along here*
Freeeee as the wiiiind blooooows,
As freeee as the graaaass grooowss
Booooorn freee to follow yoooour heeaaart
Boooorn free, and life is woooorth liiiiiiiivviiiiiing
But only worth liiiiiviiiiing
’cause you’re boorrrrn freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
[Wait is that ‘Born free’ or ‘Porn free’]