Behavior Patterns, Social Learning & Cognitive Evolution in Mammalian Lifeforms: By Dr. Ariyu O’rney

Everyone has a typically predictable pattern of behaviour when it comes to finding a mate. Birds dance and strut, chimps have grunting, whooping and chest thumping followed by regular ol’ humping.

Leo on the other hand is a marvel of genetics. He works against all previous millions of years in-built mating techniques. He seems to work right against his species. We all have great hopes that he will never breed because sperm like his really ought to be studied in a petri dish, not run around fertilising eggs willy-nilly.

Chronological steps in the Leo’s mating pattern:

a] Dude I met this chick yesterday, she’s really cute and she said she really liked my writing!

b] We talked for ages and ages. I really, really like her man. I really do.

c] She really likes me too man!!

d] I’m bored I can’t stand her

e] Why is she still calling me?? Doesn’t she get a hint?

f] Doode!! I met this really cute chick yesterday….

And so continues the round-about of life and where for now, we must leave our young Leo, fending his way on the harsh plains of the Serengeti. [Andheri East]

Perhaps one day, he will live in a world…… a world free from sexual misadventure and celibacy… One day perhaps he too will be Born Free *rolling single tear*

*Sing along here*

Booooorrrrrn freeeee,
Freeeee as the wiiiind blooooows,
As freeee as the graaaass grooowss
Booooorn freee to follow yoooour heeaaart

Boooorn free, and life is woooorth liiiiiiiivviiiiiing
But only worth liiiiiviiiiing
’cause you’re boorrrrn freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

[Wait is that ‘Born free’ or ‘Porn free’]

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11 thoughts on “Behavior Patterns, Social Learning & Cognitive Evolution in Mammalian Lifeforms: By Dr. Ariyu O’rney

  1. you fool. i seriously object to the andheri east thing. in fact, i don’t see myself ever going out with anyone from andheri east. or west, for that matter. maybe versova, at a stretch.

  2. Don’t be so place-ist you khar snob. Besides what if she was hot,smart and funny living in Andheri? Your brain might say no no no but your penis would say oh yes yes yes

  3. you realise that in your stoned casanova mode you may have gone all the way to vasai and back, and you still wouldn’t remember. the idea of you fertilizing eggs willy-nilly (lovely turn of phrase, by the way) is quite a thought.

  4. thats an excellent point. when leo is in drunken romeo mode he’d probably happily run around vasia, andheri and even *gasp* lokhandwala. I cant wait for the day he dates a lokhandwala girl.

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