Halloween Party UJ

Miracle of miracles someone actually decided to hire me for 7 hours a week.

They then invited me to their Halloween party in Brixton [the flyer has nothing to do with it, it’s a bit shit. I drew it for a job interview in a day or so].

I doubt I’d have gone for my employers bash if the party hadn’t been down the road from the flat and I hadn’t spent 3 hours the night before coerced into helping them carve pumpkins.

Winning costumes:
A white guy in a Santa suit wearing a ‘black man’ mask
A guy in a Scooby-Doo suit doing the ‘robot’
One girl in a white top that looked fairly normal aside from the large bloody syringe sticking out from just above her left breast.
Two chalky white geisha girls.
Sexy striped and masked bank robber girl
A blond girl in a very sexy red evening dress with roses in her hair and on her arm
A Friday the 13th chainsaw guy in lumberjack shirt
A girl scout with a fake [and quite creatively made] bomber back pack.
And of course the nearly mandatory multiple slutty-vampire-goth-girls-for-one-night-only.
And last but not least a group of 5 girls who came attired as the 5 stages of Britney Spears:
Teen Britney, sexed-up Britney, pregnant track-suited Britney, trashy Britney, crazed bald Britney.

You know what would be a great costume for next year? A full on burqha.


17 thoughts on “Halloween Party UJ

  1. oh dear oh dear not that old joke tsk tskA man is taking a walk in Central park in New York. Suddenly he sees a little girl being attacked by a pit bull dog . He runs over and starts fighting with the dog. He succeeds in killing the dog and saving the girl’s life. A policeman who was watching the scene walks over and says: “You are a hero, tomorrow you can read it in all the newspapers: “Brave New Yorker saves the life of little girl” The man says: – “But I am not a New Yorker!” “Oh ,then it will say in newspapers in the morning: ‘Brave American saves life of little girl'” – the policeman answers. “But I am not an American!” – says the man. “Oh, what are you then? ” The man says: – “I am a Saudi !” The next day the newspapers says: “Islamic extremist kills innocent American dog.

  2. h! i’ll tell you an even better muslim jokeNasruddin was determined to be decisive and efficient. One day he told his wife he would plow his largest field on the far side of the river and be back for a big dinner. She urged him to say, “If Allah is willing.”He told her whether Allah was willing or not, that was his plan. The frightened wife looked up to Allah and asked forgiveness.Nasruddin loaded his wooden plow, hitched up the oxen to the wagon, climbed on his donkey, and set off.But within the short span of a day the river flooded from a cloudburst and washed his donkey downstream, and one of the oxen broke a leg in the mud, leaving Nasruddin to hitch himself in its place to plow the field.Having finished only half the field, at the sunset he set out for home exhausted and soaking wet. The river was still high so he had to wait until long past dark to cross over.After midnight a very wet but much wiser Nasruddin knocked at his door. Who is there Asked his wife.I think it is me, Nasruddin, he replied, if Allah is willing!hahaha Oh that Nasruddin, Allah be praised what a fellow hahah hohoho Sadi would love this joke.

  3. these islamic jokes are getting slighty too riske for my liking. And bear in mind allah sees all (he obviously went to specsavers) so it is with concious forethought that i mention this joke at islams exspense. A Musilm (well it had to be) goes 2 a library and asks if they have any books on suicide bombings. When told no, he asks why? The librarian says “Coz you cunts never bring them back!!”May allah forgive me for poking fun at his people for they are such easy targets.

  4. yes it is terrible.all of you r shameless jokers please read this and hang your shamefully heads for you shall never go into paradise to copulate with 90 virgins.Rules of Joking in IslamSome people joke too much and it becomes a habit for them. This is the opposite of the serious nature which is the characteristic of the believers. Joking is a break, a rest from ongoing seriousness and striving; it is a little relaxation for the soul.Sa’d ibn Abi Waqqaas said: “Set a limit to your jokes, for going to extremes makes you lose respect and incites the foolish against you.”The amount of joking should be like the amount of salt in one’s food.Nowadays, although the ummah needs to increase the love between its individual members and to relieve itself of boredom, it has gone too far with regard to relaxation, laughter and jokes. This has become a habit which fills their gatherings and wastes their time, so their lives are wasted and their newspapers are filled with jokes and trivia.Muslim men and women have to be inclined to choose righteous and serious friends in their lives, who will help them to make good use of their time and strive for the sake of Allaah with seriousness and steadfastness, good and righteous people whose example they can follow.So you have to follow the example of such people, who were knights by day and monks (i.e., devoted worshippers) by night.Obtained from http://www.islamisforyou.com

  5. anon; i would normally agree with such sentiments, but do you know hard it is to find 90 virgins these days? i think ill take my chances with islamic jokes. and if it means as a pose to the virgins i will have to copulate with promiscious women, i can live with that.

  6. I once almost dyed my hair blond and wore a black <>pathan<> suit, the height was good enough. Only thing was I doubted anyone would appreciate an Indian guy dressing up as a <>pathan<> for halloween, in Islamabad.

  7. ive been invited to a muslim fancy dress party and im considering dressing as a ‘teddy bear’ so as to stand out from the crowd. To avoid any controversy i shall not use the moniker ‘muhammed’ as the english teacher did, but instead the more subtley named ‘western infidel bear, slayer of islam’ so as to avoid any problems.

  8. This is just a reasonably forceful attempt to remind you that you have not yet rubbished Christmas yet. The thought that you’d no doubt be having a worse time than me was the only thing that kept me going throughout the period. I hope you are feeling slightly less bloated (though you have always been thoroughly debauched)

  9. i have quite a lot of rubbishing to do actually. the old and new year have many events to moan and groan about.feel very guilty that I’ve neglected the blog for so many many monthsthe first half of Xmas was rubbish but the second half was all right. the gift i bought the ex went down as well as a lead balloon. Now i have birthday and valentines day to fail at too *groan*what can i do? i’m just not a romantic. its too much like hard work.what did you do eventually?

  10. I did the same as I do every year – Spend Christmas day at mum’s, trying to walk the fine line between affecting cheerfulness whilst being bored stiff and then sleeping badly in the spare room and having to go though it all again on boxing day. On Boxing day evening I went round Sara’s and celebrated her 40th birthday by pulling her over and breaking her wrist.

Deranged comments preferred

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s