Saturday Morning Punch Up

Saturday mornings, precarious stuff. Weekends occasionally erupt into some kind of fight. Usually for no reason.

Two Dogs Fighting

The ex and I got into a heated fight that escalated from mere shouting, (Level 1 – Level 3) to the ex getting aggressive enough to grab my shoulders, then threatening to punch me. (Level 8 – A miniscule fist was thrust in front of my face.).

Of course, if any punches are thrown, I’m confident I could put up a pretty good (but seriously lame) fight. But there’s just no coming back from that point, in terms of a relationship I mean. (that’s a Level 10 and I don’t know how that could ever be fixed)

The ex, in all fights, threatens to throw me out of the house, and ends all arguments with :

“Well this is my house so you can just f**k off!”

or

“Well I don’t even want you here. I’m telling you to leave now. So fuck off!”.

We’ve been together for 7 years now. Seven!

I don’t even have a home here. There’s nothing in the house that I don’t have to battle for. The tiniest bit space becomes this territorial battlefield. Putting stuff in the loo, was a Battle Royal. Then my drawing, then my books, another Galactic style fight. It’s a small house, I know that, but does every inch of ceded space have to be fought for??

Yet the ex complains that I take no pride in the house, I don’t care about paying for things to be fixed and so on. But I have no rights in this house. I’m no tenant, nothing. I pay rent, but I can be thrown out at any time. So why the should I pay more for upkeep when I have the guillotine of being chucked out hanging over my head. A guillotine that the ex never forgets to remind me of. Fuck that shit. You can’t have it both ways.

I’m sure I shouldn’t be blogging about this but it makes me so fucking mad I want to smash-up everything right now.

The weekend is completely ruined.

Advertisements

2 thoughts on “Saturday Morning Punch Up

  1. you should most definately not be blogging this! but what the heck, a little complaining, makes it all lighter and rather ridiculous, when you look back. and hopefully the small house will soon be filled with cackling laughter again. i strongly believe, and you can confirm with the husband, that a bit of yelling, screaming, throwing, name calling, threatening, all make for a healthy and well-rounded relationship.

  2. Well I thought about that very hard.

    But my rational for blogging honestly is this –

    There is no one to talk to and blogging is easier than talking anyway.

    Its also easier than internally fuming which I would do all day or all week. Even if its biased its a medium to vent, it is a diary after all.

    The cons are, as stated above, that its biased and you only hear one side of an argument. Its personal and intimate and maybe too much. But I don’t have a huge reader base (I think its something like 5 people) and even if I did why can’t you be honest about a relationship? This is not a professional blog. It’s agenda is essentially personal.

    Also I think when I re-read things back when I’m calmer its a good way to assess a situation.

    So I think all in all the pros out weight the cons. My blog is my therapist.

Deranged comments preferred

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s