My father sent me a text on the weekend saying he had Dengue fever and also that my mother was digging up the lawn to replace it with a patio.
I was obviously concerned about the Dengue fever but more than that, like what the hell?? Why was my mother digging up the lawn? And a patio? We don’t need another patio. What about the picnics?? What’s going on here?
My father tells me nothing and texts me saying I should call my mother.
So I send her a frantic text saying
“Pop’s told me you’re digging up the lawn??”
Then I call her and said
“You’re digging up the lawn?? Why are you digging up the lawn??”
“Hi darling! Who told you I’m digging up the lawn?”
I consider the statement above as an admission of guilt. Clearly she’s tried to keep it hush-hush but my father ratted her out! I panic immediately.
“Pop’s sent me a text saying he had dengue and you were digging up the lawn!”
“Ooff-ho! Tubs, you told her I’m digging up the lawn?”
My mother is confronting the whistle-blower. Why did he blow the whistle anyway? And why do we need another patio??
“Why are you digging up the lawn?? We don’t need a patio!! How are we going to have picnics??”
My poor sick fathers Dengue has taken a back seat to the lawn-patio debacle
“Darling, I’m not digging up the lawn, your father is just…telling lies”
I’m suspicious of this. Is my mother telling lies about my father telling lies?
“What do you mean he’s lying? So you’re not digging up the lawn??”
“No, No! I’m not digging up the lawn.”
“Why is Pop’s lying? He’s damn mean!”
“Tubs, she says you’re damn mean”
“Pops! Why are you telling lies?”
“Because I like to irritate you darling”
This is why I have no sympathy for the Dengue, although I suppose he must be bored.