The Nations Favorite Feature.
This is my contribution to a radio feature for the Adam and Joe Show on BBC 6 Music. This is a feature where Adam & Joe pose a question and listeners respond by sending in emails in the hope that they are funny and A&J will read them out.
It is unlikely to ever get read out (Damn them!!)
So I might as well put it up here since I’m very behind on all my postings.
I’ve never yet had the privilege of being read out.
I cry often just thinking about it. Being so interactive is ruining my mental health. (Damn you Hood!)
But here is my TTN anyway:
The Text The Nation for this week was body fiddles. Weird things you do to occupy time or have a mild OCD about. (e.g Cracking knuckles, jiggling your knee)
Dear Adam and Joe & Co.
I like to take a small but long strip of hair (Left side of head ONLY, and ALWAYS with the same bit of hair. I can always find it) and run my fingers down (NOT through it) it until it is perfectly smooth and silky.
Then I like to loop the strip (one hand ONLY) and stroke the back of my left ear one time, then back of neck, one time with the smooth looped part.
Sometimes after much smoothening (is that a word?) I like to stick the strand backwards over my ear (almost a Princess Leia, but more crazy) and then I make my partner look at it and FORCE them to praise me insincerely.
Then I start smoothening it again. If it is not perfectly smooth the sensation is RUINED.
IT GOT READ OUT! HOLY MOLY ROLLER NOVOCAINE!
I’m so excited I think I could die. I just listened to it 4 times in a row already.