Artist Statement

Watch the video above (so true. I also like the expression on her face; slightly bored, slightly supercilious), then read the post below.

I think all art shows should have some automatic translation mechanism to sift out the art bullshit from the bios, the statements and the general arty-farty flim-flam that wafts around art shows.

What would my translation say?

The artist likes to draw people in the nude.

Clothes are too hard, and sometimes too tedious to draw.

Colouring in all those stupid folds and crap. Just draw a nipple.

The artist uses bird heads as a stylistic feature largely because faces bore the artist, who clearly has no talent for portraiture.

Besides bird heads are so ‘in’ and ‘indie’ these days.

Sometimes the characters (badly drawn figures) are performing vague and unexplainable actions, because the artist finds it easier to draw an arm or a leg in a certain way than actually try to observe from life the hard way.

Artist has never exhibited (except that one time at Graduation) because the artist doesn’t have the faintest idea of how to turn juvenile pictures into a business.

Or have a clear concept of business, period.

The artist likes to draw cocks and vaginas because the artist hasn’t really matured mentally from the age of 14 onwards.

The artist enjoys the expression on peoples faces when the artist uses the words ‘rape taxi’, ‘breeders’ and ‘squirting out a baby’ as though they were common parlance.


Deranged comments preferred

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