Got my test results. Turns out I don’t have cancer.
The ex has been scolding all morning.
Oh for this, for that or the other.
Sometimes just for relief I imagine.
This the ex’s Saturday morning kick-the-dog routine.
Especially since the cleaner absconded off to Bulgaria for the summer.
I informed the ex that in the olden days (you know those days) nags were made to were a ‘Scolds bridle’. An apparatus that comes from the same family as the chastity belt, except worn on the head, the mouth being the restricted orifice.
The ex, astonished, said succinctly on this subject,
“Fuck that shit!”
After this short interlude, the scoldings continued well into the afternoon.
I then sent the cleaner a mildly veiled threat (on the ex’s urging me to fucking sort it out) that we’d be finding a new cleaner if she didn’t come back. Thank god she said she would.
The ex immediately cheered up on being the recipient of such good news.
Now, on a happier note:
I’d like to announce the monumental decision I’ve taken – To grow out my eyebrows. Jennifer Connelly here I come!