Saturday Morning Scoldings

Saturday Morning Scolding

Got my test results. Turns out I don’t have cancer.

I’m relieved.

The ex has been scolding all morning.

Oh for this, for that or the other.

Sometimes just for relief I imagine.

This the ex’s Saturday morning kick-the-dog routine.

Especially since the cleaner absconded off to Bulgaria for the summer.

I informed the ex that in the olden days (you know those days) nags were made to were a ‘Scolds bridle’. An apparatus that comes from the same family as the chastity belt, except worn on the head, the mouth being the restricted orifice.

The ex, astonished, said succinctly on this subject,

“Fuck that shit!”

After this short interlude, the scoldings continued well into the afternoon.

I then sent the cleaner a mildly veiled threat (on the ex’s urging me to fucking sort it out) that we’d be finding a new cleaner if she didn’t come back. Thank god she said she would.

The ex immediately cheered up on being the recipient of such good news.

Now, on a happier note:

I’d like to announce the monumental decision I’ve taken – To grow out my eyebrows. Jennifer Connelly here I come!

Growing my eyebrowns out


9 thoughts on “Saturday Morning Scoldings

  1. alas my eyebrows wont comply.
    I saw a girl at the Bombay airport. Really pretty, an air-hostess. She had the most perfectly groomed monobrow I have ever seen.
    It was pretty stylish I must say.

  2. Apparently, natural eyebrows are among “the beauty trends of the year”. Well timed, your decision.

    And you’ve joined Twitter! Yay! Even though I have had no role to play in your decision, I now feel like I should seriously consider appearing in/on Facebook.

    Not to be a nag, but the spelling of Connelly in the tags is, well, imaginative.

  3. Also got a saturday morning scolding from the memsaab, which was strange cos i usually get them Tuesdays ,Wednesdays, Fridays, Sundays, also sometimes after sex but usually during.

    Monobrow?? Sleep on it me thinks. Ive unhappily sported one for 28 years. Ive been told it symbolizes intelligence, madness, even virility. My guess would be a gypsy.

    Happy Diwali,

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