Open Letter To The XFactor M&S Advert

Russell, that Adam and Joe genius fan wrote an open letter to the Marks & Spencers XFactor Christmas Advert.

Open letter to M&S XFactor Advert by Russell

Open letter to M&S XFactor Advert by Russell

The XFactor UK is a modern-day all singing-all-dancing Panto. A curse, a blight, a terrible pox upon our TV.

Louie, plays the camp Panto Villain. Tulisa, the pretty bitch. (Openly swaying votes and generally giving contradicting idiotic advice one week to the next.)

Kelly, the black mama, snapping her fingers and saying “honey” and “baby” far too often.

Last but not least, our cut-price Simon Cowell: Gary from Take That

And let’s not forget the utterly revolting ‘singing’. (‘Singing’ is frankly, far too complimentary a word.)

God bless you Russell!


5 thoughts on “Open Letter To The XFactor M&S Advert

  1. Which one’s Emma Bunton on? Doesn’t Emma Bunton judge on something?

    Which one’s Cheryl Cole on? Doesn’t Cheryl Cole judge on something?

    And, er, Nicola Roberts?

    I used to think British television was one of the great cultural treasures left in the present tense, but then I had only seen “The Office” (before the US version so contaminated all those funny/painful memories).

    And then I saw five minutes of “Sugar Crush” (“Rush”– what was it again?) and realized Britain is the most backward, inbred, juvenile nation in the West. Even Billie Piper can’t save it now.

    What the devil is a “Children’s Television presenter”? What is it needs presenting? Can’t the shows just come on by themselves? And why are they all lushes married to Fatboy Slim? I don’t understand this at all.

    Good God, “maths.”

  2. Emma Bunton was on something but I don’t remember what. Cheryl Cole was on the Xfactor but the US version booted her off and she booted herself off this one.

    But you can’t dismiss all UK TV based on the The Xfactor & Sugar Crush, whatever that is (Never even heard of it). Its like me dismissing all American TV based on the Kardashians. The good stuff just takes a while to cross the pond.
    Misfits is good (Scifi)
    Downton Abbey (Period)
    Spooks (MI5 spy thing)
    QI (Comedy)
    Nigella, River Cottage & Masterchef professionals (Cooking)

  3. My dear, you certainly *should* dismiss America– er, I mean American television– on the grounds of the Kardashians.

    But I think your list only really begins with Nigella. Yes, whittle it down to the “canon within the canon”. Essentials!

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