Jerez, Spain

Elegantly placed chairs in the coutryard

Elegantly placed chairs in the coutryard

Part 3 of my belated holiday posts. Part 1  & Part 2a & Part 2b here.

I’d like to lodge a formal complaint against the 3rd hotel on our trip.

It’s called the Hacienda San Rafael. The ex saw their website and was immediately smitten.

Entrance (or exit depending on your point of view) to the Hacienda

Entrance (or exit depending on your point of view) to the Hacienda

Hibiscus growing on the walls

Hibiscus growing on the walls

Here’s the hitch.

They charge over 300 pounds per night. THREE HUNDRED FUCKING POUNDS!!

Holy Virgin Santa Maria Plaza de Ponce Cruz Castillo!

I vetoed this hotel from the start. They can take their ’boutique’ and shove it up their ass. A 300 pound a night hotel is aimed at suckers and the parvenu. (I re-learned this word recently.)

I said I would pay what we would have if we had gone to a nice mid-range hotel, since the ex desperately wanted to stay here and it was frankly entirely out of my budget. I put my foot down for any more than 1 night, though.

Indians cannot be such maha-suckers just because of a good website. I mean, really. We can make it at home.

A stray nudist. The ex was scandalized.

A stray nudist. The ex was slightly scandalized. Child willys are so weird looking.

Another view through arches. Moorish architecture is one of my favourites.

Another view through arches. Moorish architecture is one of my favourites.

Now here’s my problem with this hotel :-

It was stunning. An undeniably, stunning, private villa converted into a boutique hotel.

A dream of a villa. In fact a cupcake wrapped in a dream, muffled in a cloud, cushioned by another dream.

Silly pooch

Silly pooch

The dog took a little dip in the pool. it was very entertaining.

But at 300 pounds per night you’d expect some value for money. The very least I expect, is an excellent breakfast.

You don’t expect them to have implement a budget airline policy! I was both offended and annoyed.

The breakfast was 1 croissant and some coffee/tea. That was it. (I’m outraged. Even now – and we came back from Spain in April). You get nothing but a pretty place to sleep at this place.

If you wanted more you needed to pay. There was nothing that wasn’t an ‘extra’.

Such a Ryan Air establishment policy. It infuriated me.

(Look I don’t expect everything included, but the lunch menu had small portions, the breakfast was stingy and everything was just over-priced. Like I said, just a good inclusive breakfast would have done it for me.)

Our meagre lunch.

Our meagre lunch. These were mains too. I was still hungry after this pitiful offering.

They even had their own shop selling over priced oil and stuff.

They even had their own shop selling over priced olive oil and indian exports (Anokhi produts – let me just say that €300 for a kurta is NOT OK. You rip-offs.)

The ex claimed that the people who can afford to go here wouldn’t care about paying for anything on top.

Some might not, probably. But most people would I should think. These people didn’t get to that level of richness without being a little £££ savvy. Plus I’ve stayed in enough 5 star hotels (parents), which have had great service and more importantly an amazing breakfast. It’s the least they can do considering you’ve had to take out a loan to pay for the bill.

If you wanted to eat dinner at the place, you had to have the set menu at the hotel restaurant. Since this villa was a converted farmhouse/stable in the middle of nowhere, they really had a good racket going. (The food was excellent I will admit).

Anyway, breakfast was very kunjoos. Dinner for one night was fine. If you like expensive hotels for no other reason than that you have money to burn I highly recommend this place.

So here some more holiday photos. I tried to value for money out of photographing the heckings out of this hotel.

They should fucking hire me.

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