Apassionata: A Review

This poster couldn't be stupider if it tried. Magic Moments my ass.

This poster couldn’t be stupider if it tried. Magic Encounters my ass.

The ex made me go see Apassionata at the O2 a few weeks ago.

For the uninitiated this is a 2 hour horse show.

Just look at that poster. It’s so ….

The word I want to use is ‘gay’ but since that I’m trying not to use it in that context anymore, let’s just go with ‘cheesy and slightly camp’.

And so was the show. Cheesy and slightly camp.

Th ex being passionate about all things horses had begged me to go.

I say begged but it was more like,

“Do you want to come with me?”

Translation

“I think you’ll find that you will be coming.”

Of course, being the soft-hearted gentle soul that I am, I couldn’t bear the idea of the poor ex sitting all alone in the O2 area, watching horses and crying

“I love horses so much. I really love them! No one understands!”

So of course, I had to go. Support and all that jazz.

The show was just as tedious as I thought it might be.

The highlight was ze German announcer repeatedly saying

“Please feel free to app-lauws. You may app-lauws now.”

I don’t know why, but the way he said ‘app-lauws’ made me giggle a little.

But I had no strength or will to lift my hands together in a clap. I sank into a stupor that lasted until the show ended.

Let me sum up the show for you (from a non-horsey person’s perspective) in a nutshell:

– Horse walks around the ring, shows paw.

– Another horse walks around the ring, shows paw.

– The end.

It was 2 hours of interminable boredom set to the worst music ever.

I plugged in my iPod.

I’m so glad I took a book too.

We rounded the evening off with the ex taking me to Gaucho grill.

I ordered the steak, done ‘blue’.

I imagined it was a horse.

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22 thoughts on “Apassionata: A Review

  1. Ahahahaha, that review was amazing.

    Just look at that poster. It’s so ….

    The word I want to use is ‘gay’

    That’s the word I wanted you to use too. That is the ONLY word. [I say this as a lover and champion of all homothings.] And your ex… OMG HORSE LOVER! Every post reveals a teenie bit more about your relationship that makes me go… ahhh. I wonder ;D

    • I know! I love using the word gay! And I love gayness. All kinds of gayness and gaygiri

      But I was listening to this guy coming out on one of the podcasts I listen to – He had been in the closet for 40 years and he said when he heard people using ‘gay’ in that context, especially when he was young and confused, it made something inside him die. And he didn’t feel he wanted to be associated with this word.

      I don’t want to make little fledging gaybies feel like the gay in them just died. So i’m TRYING to be politically correct and sensitive, 😦

      the ex is a big equestrian. Looks rrreally nice in the equestrian outfits too.

  2. This post was so good, I read it again. “I think you’ll find that you’ll be coming” lmao…. My roommate is like “What’s so funny?” I’m like.. heh heh You know… those horse posters we keep seeing? Appasionatta.. ahahaha…. ” coherent explanation devolves into random laughter…

      • Lulz, sure! You made it sound like such a rollicking time for the whole family ; D I think unless I’m romantically involved with someone who looks %*0dsjoisd-)( good in a horse-riding costume, I will be passing on the ‘paw out.’ : D

        On the gay: Oh, I know totally what you mean!!! I want to use that term all the time. But then I’m like… oh, what if someone now thinks I hate gays/hate them for being gay? It’s like, no! You don’t understand! You wanting another man on the tip of your *%(# pleases me more than anything! Truly!! [So, like you, I also try to restrain and not say randomly that things are ‘gay’ or call anyone a ‘fag’.]

        • Well I’m not totally sure if its German or Austrian. But one of those 2 for shizzle.
          The thing is if you have a kid who LOVES horses they would like the show and thing it was pretty cool. But as an adult it just failed to ‘wow’.

    • BAHAHAHAHA! I decided to visit your blog today Tin Roof…and then I saw the word APASSIONATA and thought – NO WAY! They have that show OUTSIDE of Munich?!?! Holy !”$/)%!!! But really funny blog post. Cracked me up. Moof – wanna go with me? 😉 heh heh

      • 😛 you should totally drag Moof.

        And If you guys get really wasted right before the show you might have an amazing time. The storyline is so mad.

        (yes it actually had some storyline. I didn’t pay attention but there was a lot of videos of horses against various sunsets, or walking off into the sunset. Unbelievable cheese. But maybe if i had been drunk…)

        • o_o storyline? ok…that sounds amazing…amazingly corny. I will get moof drunk (and me as well) and then we will crawl over there…hopefully we can contain ourselves and not spook the horses (or the other viewers). I’m glad I know what goes on in Appasionata now. I was actually curious about it LOL!

          • God.
            Dare I do this?
            A little PET bottle of tonic… except it’s more G than T.
            Horses… sunsets…we watched ‘The Chronicles of Riddick’ drunk in the theatre. If I can get through Vin Diesel, I can get through applawussss 😀

            • ok…I have bad taste. I really enjoyed the Chronicles of Riddick HAHAHAHA! That Vin Diesel, such a hard looking man. Moof you will LOVE iiiiiit…especially after a PET bottle of tonic with 90% G.

            • PET is short for Polyethylene Terephthalate–which is what plastic drink bottles are made of…people here refer to plastic drinks as being in PET bottles. If they don’t call it PET, they would have to call the bottles “Kunststoffflasche” and thats just not as cool sounding and If you live in Germania, you have to be cool 😉 LOL!

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