Some embarrassing things that have happened to me lately.
Embarrassing item #1
One of the loos on my floor at work doesn’t fully lock.
It looks locked but sometimes the thingie hasn’t gone in the hole properly…
That reads a little dirty – But you know what I mean.
This charming quirk about this particular loo door was only revealed to me when a man happened to walk in on me.
I shrieked faintly, in the outraged manner of one seated helpless on a loo.
Now every time he passes me in the corridor I can’t bear to look him in the eyes.
The shame, oh the shame.
Embarrassing item #2
I really can’t spell cubord without a spellchecker.
Mother Hubbard went to her cubbard.
I just can’t.
To be fair, there are a growing variety of things I can’t spell without a spellchecker.
A spellchecker does make you extremely lazy about spelling.
I have learned to spell things purposely wrong so spellchecker will give me a few options for the correct version.
Embarrassing item #3
For ages, when people used air quotations I couldn’t figure out what they were doing.
But I didn’t want them to know that I didn’t know, so I never asked.
I thought they were bunny ears.
There was a point in college where one guy was using ‘bunny ears’ in nearly every sentence. So did Leo as I recall.
Embarrassing item #4
I don’t know if this one is embarrassing for me or the other person: Maybe its just an incident more than an embarrassing item.
While eating lunch in the park a sleeping drunk near by kept farting loudly and repeatedly.
I didn’t bother to move.
Embarrassing item #5
This one is definitely not embarrassing for me but falls under the general category of embarrassing.
Saw a very tall, yet very ordinary man wearing a sober light grey suit at a platform at Kings Cross. He was holding a small light grey poodle on a short leash.
The poodle had been groomed in the traditional ‘cartoon’ style: Poofy tail and poofy bits above the paws, shorn legs, and poofy ears tied back with little pink bows. A Penelope Pitstop of a dog in essence.
I saw the eyes of other men on the platform, a smirk in them as they watched this tall grey man walking around publicly with such an animal.
It amazed me too, that this man was walking around so casually without the merest hint of a blush or at the very least, retching constantly.
Embarrassing item #6
I know I must now truly be a Londoner – The mere thought of living in any other city in the UK sickens me to my core.