Mildy Embarrassing Items And Some Penis Pancakes

Some embarrassing things that have happened to me lately.

Embarrassing item #1

One of the loos on my floor at work doesn’t fully lock.

It looks locked but sometimes the thingie hasn’t gone in the hole properly…

That reads a little dirty – But you know what I mean.

This charming quirk about this particular loo door was only revealed to me when a man happened to walk in on me.

I shrieked faintly, in the outraged manner of one seated helpless on a loo.

Now every time he passes me in the corridor I can’t bear to look him in the eyes.

The shame, oh the shame.

Embarrassing item #2

I really can’t spell cubord without a spellchecker.

Cuphoard?

Cubboard?

Mother Hubbard went to her cubbard.

I just can’t.

To be fair, there are a growing variety of things I can’t spell without a spellchecker.

A spellchecker does make you extremely lazy about spelling.

I have learned to spell things purposely wrong so spellchecker will give me a few options for the correct version.

Embarrassing item #3

For ages, when people used air quotations I couldn’t figure out what they were doing.

But I didn’t want them to know that I didn’t know, so I never asked.

I thought they were bunny ears.

There was a point in college where one guy was using ‘bunny ears’ in nearly every sentence. So did Leo as I recall.

Embarrassing item #4

I don’t know if this one is embarrassing for me or the other person: Maybe its just an incident more than an embarrassing item.

While eating lunch in the park a sleeping drunk near by kept farting loudly and repeatedly.

I didn’t bother to move.

Embarrassing item #5

This one is definitely not embarrassing for me but falls under the general category of embarrassing.

Saw a very tall, yet very ordinary man wearing a sober light grey suit at a platform at Kings Cross. He was holding a small light grey poodle on a short leash.

The poodle had been groomed in the traditional ‘cartoon’ style: Poofy tail and poofy bits above the paws, shorn legs, and poofy ears tied back with little pink bows. A Penelope Pitstop of a dog in essence.

I saw the eyes of other men on the platform, a smirk in them as they watched this tall grey man walking around publicly with such an animal.

It amazed me too, that this man was walking around so casually without the merest hint of a blush or at the very least, retching constantly.

Embarrassing item #6

I know I must now truly be a Londoner – The mere thought of living in any other city in the UK sickens me to my core.

Penis Pancakes with Whipped Cream -  The rather brilliant creation of Anokhi (that's A4) and King Tha who gave me permission to post this. Because no other photo I have deserved being posted more than this one. So stick that Pinterest people with your posh food photos!

Penis Pancakes with Whipped Cream – The rather brilliant creation of Anokhi (that’s A4) and King Tha who gave me permission to post this – Because no other photo deserves being posted more than this one. So stick that Pinterest people with your posh food photos!

My rather feral Coriander up close. I can't seem to find the middle ground between my plants dying or just growing crazy.

My rather feral Coriander up close. I can’t seem to find the middle ground between my plants dying or just growing like crazy.

Kitchen Window. How Domestic.

Kitchen Window. How Domestic.

Sprouting Potatoes. I bought a bag from the small veg market stall and forgot then in a dark cubbord. Cuphoard?

Sprouting Potatoes. I bought a bag from the small veg market stall and forgot them in a dark cubbord. Cuphoard?

Roots Closeup

Cubard? Cupbard? Roots Closeup. Can you tell that I am in love with this camera?

Liberty Window Mexican Skulls

Liberty Window – Mexican Skulls

Big Moon rising.

Big Moon rising.

Kings Cross at twilight

Kings Cross at Twilight. I’ve taken the same photo many times but it never gets old.

Kings Cross with streaks. This is definitely my favourite, of all the ones I've ever taken.

Kings Cross with streaks and a sickle moon. This is definitely my favourite, of all the ones I’ve ever taken.

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31 thoughts on “Mildy Embarrassing Items And Some Penis Pancakes

  1. OMG this post had me in tears and stomach craps from laughing. Great post Tin Roof 🙂 Gosh those taters have gone a little crazy! I don’t even know if you should throw them out or plant them somewhere? #4 has happened to me lots of times…I used to wonder what it is about me that makes people feel like they have to let one rip around me–is it some form of self defence? But now I know, I am not alone 😉

  2. cupboard is really a hard word … I always have words I can’t spell so I love my spellcheck and yes I love google too as it helps me find out what i actually mean

  3. I think forgetting about potatoes until they grow out so beautifully that you want to photograph them so intensely is also mildly embarrassing – well shot and interesting to look at even with all those eyes it’s still a bit blind.

    The pics of Kings Cross are almost spiritual – well captured!

    I have some Vagina Koeksisters that would go a treat with those Penis Pancakes too 😉

  4. You’re no plant killer. It takes some serious genius to turn potatoes into… that. I bow to you. This is way, way cooler than me killing those silly feng shui bamboo thingies. Two weeks on my desk and it turned black, like some sci-fi version of a bamboo.

    Love the photos, particularly the domestic one, crazy potatoes and moon rising. You’re making me want to take out my camera again.

    • Those bamboo things are useless. You never get any satisfaction of watching them grow. The feral coriander is now sprouting flowers. Really I should crop them off but I rather like them.

      I think its time to put away the iphone and get out your camera. I haven’t

      I read some devastating news yesterday – my new camera might be bumped off its top spot in a few weeks. Apparently there is going to be an even better compact camera out by Sony. Damn you technology!

  5. Agree totally with you on the Penis Pancakes. That is the ONLY picture worth posting. I could just see the grey man with the grey pooch. Hilarious! I’m sorry but all your embarrassing moments are funny, really.

  6. Epic. Just epic. Now I know why I keep coming back here. Its where thngs are just, the way they are. Drunk man farting beside you, getting walked in on while taking a piss. Or a poop. And penis pancakes (which are totally awesome btw).

    Though when I read #4 I was thinking to myself you should thank your stars they were loud and probably unsmelly, unlike those silent killers that you could have been subjected to. Then your post wouldnt have been about embarrassing things.

  7. I want to eat penis pancakes. The sprinkles just do it.

    Once I was on the train from the airport, having escaped a smelly and friendly homeless man who kept trying to shake my hand. He found me on the train, and sat behind me without saying a word, and promptly started to pee on the floor behind me, then got up and left. I was too embarrassed to acknowledge it, but, as my boy said, how threatening is that really–being peed next to?

    x

  8. No cooked cock comes to good grub.

    Don’t masturbate, just clean your plate.

    One day cock of the plate; next day, a featherduster.

    Mr. Potatohead, you’re really sprouting!

    “Waiter, O waiter– these pancakes are premature.” “Certainly, sir. I’ll have our chef fluff them right away.”

    “If that boy thinks he’s getting a five-dollar tip, he’d better give my pancake a reacharound.”

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