An old toothless drunk, like a sad Santa Claus, in the park near work ruined my lunch this afternoon.
Tried to get rid of him by giving him a piece of chocolate cake.
Needless to say it didn’t work.
I want to be more sympathetic, but fuck, I really hate drunks.
And anyone who says they are so-called “Good drunks” are exactly the kind of annoying drunk I want to punch.
Here is our approximate conversation and his total inability to take a hint.
That’s another reason I hate drunks, regardless of their hobo status.
They always want to make chit-chat. They can’t take a hint.
“I made it!”
(he said as he flopped on the grass)
“Girl, don’t let me interrupt your lunch.”
Then immediately following this well-intentioned statement,
“What are you reading?”
“I can’t see the title.”
Then he crawls up right next to me to leer hopelessly at my book cover.
The title is typed in a large font, but his eyes have trouble focusing. Shocker.
“But don’t let me stop you reading!”
*Seconds pause* then
“Wow that smells good, where did you get it?”
“Just carry on reading – Don’t let me stop you…”
“Are you hurrying to finish your lunch because of work? Don’t let work push you around. Design studios can fuck off.”
– No mate, you can fuck off.
And you ARE interrupting my lunch.
So I left him my cake and legged it.