‘Experimental’ Life Drawing Performance Art

I’ve decided to start an ‘Experimental’ Life Drawing ‘Class’. It seems to be all the rage these days.

Here is the concept:

Each class will be an 1 hour only.

Class 1: Blindfolded pin the donkey drawings.
You will all draw donkeys and pin it to each others backs.

Class 2: Scribbling
Drawing scribbles. If you actually draw anything good I will hit you with a ruler. That is not the point of experimental drawing.

Class 3: Cats
You will all pretend to be cats meowing, while drawing left-handed. You need to imagine how the cat would draw. If you refuse to do this I will call you ‘pedestrian’ and ‘restricted’ and tell you how you are not ‘open to new experiences’ because of your stunted emotional relationships with your parents.

Class 4: Pictionary.
We will all play Pictionary.

Class 5: “Living Statues”
The life model will do a jazz dance while the entire class stands still for an hour, nude.

Class 6: So Many Tears
Everyone will sit in circle crying. You will draw each others crying faces while you are crying. If you are not really crying hard enough I will rub a chilli in your eye.

Other suggestions for classes from helpful commenters which I have now included in my curriculum:

Class 7: Skypeart
You will draw portraits over a bad skype connection. The pixellation needs to be rendered accurately or I will sneer at your work as being “amateurish”.

Class 8: Songs of Praise
Someone plays a Bontempi organ while everyone makes invisible drawing with their ears. (Contribution thanks to Emma R.)

The Payment Plan
You will pay me £800 pounds for these classes. I will justify it with a load of amazing art bollocks, using words like “challenge” & “imagination” and “art” and “theory”.

I’m going to call my class “Undrawing for lots of money”. I can see this enterprise expanding into a global brand. Like weight watchers, with classes in various cities all over the world. Portland (Mike), Australia (Kim), Oxford (Emma), Bombay (I’ll find someone)

I tepidly may have toyed with the idea of this being a free venture but on consideration I’ve changed my mind.

It will never be free. If its free it won’t be ‘real’ art.

‘Real’ art always has a cost. Someone told me this in not so many words recently.

Don’t you know only artists who sell their work are ‘real’? (Or they need to paint on canvas. I was told that too.)

Test Print Postcards

Test Print Postcards

Test Prints

Test Prints

Silly Sketch at work

Silly Sketch at work


This is a recycled piece of content from my fb feed. Sorry to those who read it already. (I’ve also got 5 unedited drafts and folders and folders of photos to sort. My hobbies are fucking killing me. I can’t keep up.)


21 thoughts on “‘Experimental’ Life Drawing Performance Art

  1. Outlining your new erotica novel, Janine?

    Admittedly, the jazz exhibitionism and the thought of the slap of the ruler gave me a twinkie in my underpants.

    –Oh drat. I’m not wearing any underpants . . . .

Deranged comments preferred

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