Bi-Yearly Bi Rant

“Jessie J labels her bisexuality ‘a phase’: ‘I want to stop talking about it completely now and find myself a husband’”

… SAID ALMOST EVERY BISEXUAL GIRL EVER.

I wish people would stop using the word ‘bisexual’.

The word is so muddied now – It seems to have no meaning anymore other than something to say to tantalise your pop-audience or the guys at the bar or your future husband. (I’m ignoring the bi-men right now.)

Which is a mega bitchy thing to say.

And I know it.

But that is the general usage of the word.

I also know there are many bisexual women out there who would be up in arms about my view,

…but they are probably way too busy being married to the men of their dreams to be either care or have a valid argument.

God, I’m SUCH an asshole.

I jest! – I was just bi-baiting. 😀 Please don’t kill me

Look, I’m fully on board with sexuality being fluid. I’m fully on board that you can fuck either gender or all genders or no genders and that your tastes may change.

But my issue is that everyone is bisexual. Everyone CAN sleep with either or both genders or all genders.

So it means nothing, saying bisexual. I just don’t understand it at all as a label.

We are all bisexual, to some degree.

Then when ‘bisexual’ is used as in the context of Jessie J it just muddies the water (which is all pretty muddy anyway)

I’m sure she’s being tongue in cheek with her quote above or just being far too honest but since she is in the public eye, this is what I feel the general impression is:

1. Bisexuality is a phase.

Which btw, in Jesse J’s case may be totally accurate but if you are a pop-star I think you have to self-aware enough to know that this will get maximum coverage in every paper, and therefore it might be sensible to phrase your retraction a little better. (Unless you don’t care about the response, which she certainly seems to)

“It was a phase, I want to find myself a husband now” while 100% truthful will play out in the media in a very specific way.

This in turn can cause assholes like me to have the seed planted in them early on, associating the word ‘bisexual’ with ‘phase’.

Which exactly encapsulates all my teen (and current) associations: Ever since I’ve been a teen there have various pop-stars (and a few people in real life) using this word, and then at some point later on they have usually rescinded it, (minus 3 mental bitch points – my bitch rating system btw) to go on to marry (minus 1 bitch point) & breed. (minus 23 bitch points)

And again, I think as a label it really means nothing. Why are we using it? I really don’t understand the usage.

2. After the ‘phase’ you are now ready to settle down and find you a nice mans. (or lady)

What a relief for your family.

I also feel like the word is used as a sop to your friends/family that may not be support a totally gay choice. One foot still on that side of the fence, as it were, should you choose to imagine sexuality like a finely manicured croquet lawn, with cross hatching grid lines, lots of coloured balls and a shortage of mallets.

My mother did once say to me “Well! I hope you are at least a bi-sexual!”

So I have a little resentment towards the word.

If we have to have a label then ‘Bi-curious’ seems to be a far more reasonable word to use.

If a label has to be shoved down our throats then at least it’s clear. Being 1/4 Austrian I have a vaguely Germanic need for clarity. ALLES KLAR!

You’re curious, and you like both. No decision or statement has to be made either way or incorrectly read into it.

Penis, Vagina, Everything in between!

Who fucking cares.

So here is what Jesse J has to say: (Poor girl. So many articles about her retraction. This is the moral about honesty in the media.)

“I was honest and then BAM it took over, the word bisexual before my name on almost every article,” the pop star wrote. “Instantly I was boxed.”

Two albums later, Jessie J said she was “increasingly frustrated with still feeling like [my sexuality] was defining me as an artist”. “I am evolving into the woman I want to be forever, wanting a husband and kids one day and dreaming up my future just like everyone else,” she wrote, “[but people] want me to be someone I’m not.”

This comment thread on the article made me lolz though

Nobudget

Who the hell cares?

She kissed a girl and she liked it. Bowie-style bi-chic.

Now it was just a phase like some boarding school fumbler.

Why is this news?

Sinister_Dexter > Nobudget

I suppose it’s news because a lot of people go through a “phase” of being attracted to the same-sex, and isn’t this somewhat empowering for those people?

And when I say “a lot of people” I’m not talking about me, of course. I love the pussy. I’ve always been all about the pussy. If anyone came up to me and asked me if I wanted some pussy, I’d be like “yeah, gimme that pussy.” That’s what I’m all about, bro. Chicks, and stuff. All the time. No phases here, just pure manly pussy love.

What? Why’s everyone staring at me?

HAHAHAHA I want to be Sinister Dexter’s friend.

Bisexual Garden

Bisexual Garden

Advertisements

23 thoughts on “Bi-Yearly Bi Rant

  1. Uhm, can you come to my house and paint that picture on the ceiling of my living room if I pay you lots of monies??

    I really really (to the power of infinity) don’t get why people are so stuck on liking one thing. Like you say, I think it’s totally false for most if they are honest with themselves. But as soon as they go straight (or gay), it’s like ‘no no, that was just a phase!!’ Partially, because the ‘community’ (also made up of people who only claim to like one thing but are probably also lying to themselves, fuck, like the lies never stop!!) gets really up in arms. Straight people: Oh, you’re bi, that means you’re really kinky and probably going to cheat on me, right? Gay people: ‘Oh, so what, you’re going to run off and get married later aren’t you, and I’ll just be a ‘phase’?’

    Jessie J: Hell yeah!
    Like why?! Why is it so hard to say, you know, having tried both, I think I generally prefer pizza, but once in a while, I can really enjoy a good spaghetti carbonara? Or right now, I want spaghetti, but damn that pizza I had last year was good! (My mom always freaks out when I compare sexuality to food, but hey, it’s both about eating stuff, right? >____>)

    • I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s the word not the intent – the word implies 2 halves or 2 parts and a split down the middle.

      Which to me is divisive. and now totally has this connotation ^ (defo for me) because that’s how it’s commonly used.

      I do think she could have been more tactful – she is obviously annoyed and I can see how being labeled bisexual constantly must be tedious when it’s not longer something you feel but still… no wonder the association is fucked

      • “I’m straight but shit happens” lolol

        I think that’s why now some people use ‘pansexual’ (ugh, so many fucking annoying labels)… because that is what REALLY means “I truly don’t consider gender when choosing a sexual/romantic partner.” (As opposed to the loaded bisexual, which means for most people: (women: I’ll get married to a man, but I like to kiss girls at bars to titillate men… Men: I’m gay, but I don’t want my mom to be upset….)

        • ah pan sexual! yes i read a lot of those on this tumblr for coming out stories http://whenicameout.tumblr.com/ (and lots of people tell their parents they are bi as well)

          i think you answered a question in an article somewhere (linked from your blog) about bi-sexual as a label and how people want to define you for your future choice, as an end point and i think your point was so spot on. that seems to be the function of such labels. to define an end point (which I’ll admit i enjoy the clarity of) but pan-sexual or bi-curious seems a reasonable vague labels or at least less loaded (…for now)

    • I think to be fair Jesse j is saying just that – that she tried it and now has changed. And doesn’t wasn’t to keep talking about it but surely she knows how papers and internet works? . And also for her it was a phase so why should she lie? But the asshole in me when I read that immediately thought “oh great, typical. Another one”

      • Yeah, annoying thing #289347: You can’t change your sexuality. Like, you had ass-sex once–bam, you’re gay even after you’ve impregnated 290w32398 women.

        With the Jesse J thing, it just irks me, because it’s like… well, you had feelings for that woman (I presume she was in a relationship with a woman at some point, and not just kissing girls in bars?) …so, yes, now you want a man to have a family life with, but I imagine you still have the capacity to fall in love with/be with a woman, should the right situ arise?

        So why rescind the label? So that the potential menz partners don’t get freaked out?
        ::eye roll::

        • I’m glad i’m not the only one irrationally annoyed!

          that irks me too!

          yes she was in a proper relationship – & now says its something she’d never do again – which is totally fair – she knows what she wants who she is etc

          but he plays into the stereotype, which is so irritating. & its totally irrational that i even care yet somehow i do.

          its going to be hilarious that she ‘came out’ about being bi, then totally rescinded it, like i want husband and babies and don’t want to talk about this anymore, and now all the papers will refer to her a an ‘former bisexual’ therefore underlining it even more.

          • lmao, former bisexual. Yeah, I just don’t get it. I really don’t. I think all articles should refer to the current and past sexuality of its subjects. >__> “President Vladimir Putin past bi-curious current straight man” lololol. PS: Your graphite work really just makes me gnash my teeth and roll around and stuff. Could you please put this image on a t-shirt? (Does one of the stores that sells your images do that??) I would totally buy it.

            • hahaha yeah although i have my suspicions about putin. I mean all that homophobia and topless wandering on horses and tanks. its all very dubious, homoerotic behaviour.

              thanks so much moof! 🙂 thats a really old drawing when i was dating a person who kept telling me their were bi-sexual and thats why they had to get married. lots of resentment!

              i have that drawing up on society6 but it wont translate well onto a tshirt so i never put it on one.

              • That’s when you know you made art… when people are too scared to buy it!! (That’s what I tell myself, anyway >___>).
                Yup: The sentence that will always annoy me “Oh, but I KNOW I could NEVER be attracted to someone of x gender/this type of body/this type of blah blah blah…”

                Whatever, man, I say, walking away with my hands jammed in my pockets. Whistling.
                I think absolutes just annoy the poop out of me.

                • haha but i must confess i sometimes kind of feel the same way about wishy-washiness though.

                  or at least i’m trying to be less annoyed and more evolved. Jesse J’s of the world set me back each time i lurch forward into being more evolved.

                  but i’m just a monkey sniffing butts and hurling poop 😦

                  yeah i like to think that too – “no one gets me maaaann, my art is too intense” hahahaha

                  my partner says “we’re never putting that stuff up. i dont want to see penises everyday”

                  and i’m like “whyyyyy? they are so much fun!”

                  • I’m a trans-trending flipflopping jackass and I do not care. Had sex with a fruit once. Now I’m adding ‘fruit-sexual’ to the list… Even if I’m famous, I am NEVER rescinding that piece of fruit… Hey… where are you guys all going?! ;___;

                    ‘My Art Doesn’t Suck, Y’All Just Too Obtuse to Feel Me’: A Short Play in Two Acts ^___^

  2. Speaking of fruit-sexual, there was this volume of erotica came out a few months ago in India called A Pleasant Kind of Heavy. It attempted to turn the papaya and the custard apple sexy. An extract from the story that had Adventures With A Custard Apple:

    “That day, the fruit became the palette of her playtime art project. She pulled open the leathery-green exteriors and removed handfuls of the black seeds enrobed in white flesh from the two cups of skin. She spread the sweet sticky seeds on her vulva and thighs. Her hands glissaded between the lips of her vulva bringing the scent of the fruit there. She ate the flesh and spat out the seeds, unmindful of where they fell; as a form of climax she pulled off her top and bra and rubbed the sticky white flesh onto her breasts and nipples.”

  3. Good rant! Creepy, beautiful drawing, Janine! For the record, as if it matters and as if I needed to weigh in, my opinion is as follows… >>> I am not disagreeing with you. I’ve had several friend who were bugs, “bisexual until graduation”. These were women who dated strictly women in college (and maybe after for a few years). But then something changed, and they broke up with their ladies and imeddiately met and married a male, and then had children. Like, not a couple of people- several female friends did this same thing– enough that it was a noticeable pattern. That said, however, for the record, I do know people who I would describe as legitimate bisexuals, all women (most of them live in NYC) who really do just seem to date whoever they please and don’t choose sides. It’s like they are from the FUTURE or something.

    • I like my creative spelling of imeddiately. Also, I don’t know this Jesse J character… I’m out of the loop!

    • What else is a blog for but to weigh in even if it doesn’t matter?

      Bugs! Thats hilarious. I’m envious of the more evolved. But I think everyone can sleep with any gender so I don’t understand the term bi-sexual. It’s so redundant. Everyone is bisexual. Lets stop using it.

      Jesse J is a UK pop-star who was also a judge on the voice. She recently retracted her previous claim that she was bi-sexual. But in a kind of tactless way. I think she should have known or at least suspected that such a hard retraction would irritate people and reinforce the stereotypes.

Deranged comments preferred

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s